Welsh mum amazed by Marmite Messiah
Edible Son of God manifests in Rhondda
Aficionados of Jesus simulacra can add a Marmite lid to the list of places the Son of God has chosen to manifest, following a Welsh woman's discovery of the Messiah's likeness formed from the delicious tar-based spread.
Claire Allen, 36, spotted the astonishing face as she was poised to poison son Robbie, 4, with Marmite on toast. The mother of three from Danygraig, Ystrad, Rhondda, told the South Wales Echo: “I couldn’t believe it. I opened the Marmite jar and put it on the breakfast bar, and the lid caught my eye.
“I just looked at it and immediately thought, that’s Jesus Christ. It wasn’t a new jar, but I’d never noticed that before.”
Son Jamie, 14, immediately confirmed the visage "looks like God", and readers can judge for themselves if we're talking Jesus or Frank Zappa right here.
Allen admitted she isn't very religious, but that she "took comfort" from the divine visitation. She said: “People might think I’m nuts, but I like to think it’s Jesus looking out for us. We’ve had a tough couple of months; my mum’s been really ill and it’s comforting to think that if he is there, he’s watching over us.
“I often see Jesus’ face in a lot of things I do. And there are a few times I can think of when I’ve seen the face of Jesus in a window. But he’s never appeared in my food before.”
Reg regulars will recall that Jesus has previously revealed himself in a hawthorn bush, 22 gauge steel, a Samsung Flash memory chip and a Romanian wardrobe, while his mum legendarily popped up in a grilled cheese sandwich. ®
Vegemite or nothing
Marmite is made from cat excrement.
It looks more like one of the BeeGees.
Or Lemmy out of Motorhead. Or Eric Clapton during his hairy phase. Or Mike Ratledge out of Soft Machine. Or, basically, anyone with long, dark, wavy hair who has ever sported a beard and dark glasses.
"No clue what that is like."
Marmite was developed as a by product of the brewing industry - it's thick gunge of the consistency of axel grease with a salty, yeasty taste. Most popular on toast although it can used in other ways. Very popular after the war as it wasn't rationed and is packed full of nutrients.
Sometimes popular with pregnant women (I've seen one licking table spoons full of the stuff). Personally, I can take it or leave it, but most people either really hate it or really love it - in fact their advertising is based entirely around that concept.
For me though, it has to be Bovril - that's the stuff to give the troops. Spread on bread, added to gravy, used as a basting agent - my favourite is turned into a hot drink (just add boiling water) then slap a good old dash of sherry into it. That's what built an empire!