Feeds

iPhone apps - the 10 smartest and the 10 stupidest

One man's meat is another man's poison

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

No. 5

Smart: BeatMaker

They say: "Inspired by professional drum machines, samplers, and sequencers, BeatMaker combines them into one inspirational instrument."

The Reg says: Here's incontrovertible proof that the iPhone is no toy.

BeatMaker is a full-fledged music-maker, with 16 trigger pads (up to five at once) to play samples either from its included library or recorded on the go. A multi-resolution, multi-track step sequencer supports pattern creation and assembly.

Add bit-crusher down-sampling, high and low-pass filters, complex envelope controls, network sharing, WAV and MIDI export, BPM info, and a whole lot more, and you've got a party in your pocket.

Price: $19.99

  BeatMaker screenshot

  SoftServe Poop Machine screenshot

Stupid: SoftServe Poop Machine

They say: "Created especially for all you fans of iFart and the dozens of other fart and poop apps on the app store. Did we say Chocolate Fudge? Mmmm!"

The Reg says: Really, what exactly can you say about an app such as SoftServe Poop Machine? That its controls for curvature, length, and thickness allow you to create an inspiringly aesthetic digital dump?

How about, instead, we simply shout for professional help: "Dr. Freud! Dr. Freud! Calling Dr. Freud!"

Price: 99¢


Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

Next page: No. 4

More from The Register

next story
Brits: Google, can you scrape 60k pages from web, pleeease
Hey, c'mon Choc Factory, it's our 'right to be forgotten'
Of COURSE Stephen Elop's to blame for Nokia woes, says author
'Google did have some unique propositions for Nokia'
FCC, Google cast eye over millimetre wireless
The smaller the wave, the bigger 5G's chances of success
It's even GRIMMER up North after MEGA SKY BROADBAND OUTAGE
By 'eck! Eccles cake production thrown into jeopardy
Mobile coverage on trains really is pants
You thought it was just *insert your provider here*, but now we have numbers
Don't mess with Texas ('cos it's getting Google Fiber and you're not)
A bit late, but company says 1Gbps Austin network almost ready to compete with AT&T
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Cloud and hybrid-cloud data protection for VMware
Learn how quick and easy it is to configure backups and perform restores for VMware environments.
Three 1TB solid state scorchers up for grabs
Big SSDs can be expensive but think big and think free because you could be the lucky winner of one of three 1TB Samsung SSD 840 EVO drives that we’re giving away worth over £300 apiece.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.