Feeds

iPhone apps - the 10 smartest and the 10 stupidest

One man's meat is another man's poison

Remote control for virtualized desktops

No. 5

Smart: BeatMaker

They say: "Inspired by professional drum machines, samplers, and sequencers, BeatMaker combines them into one inspirational instrument."

The Reg says: Here's incontrovertible proof that the iPhone is no toy.

BeatMaker is a full-fledged music-maker, with 16 trigger pads (up to five at once) to play samples either from its included library or recorded on the go. A multi-resolution, multi-track step sequencer supports pattern creation and assembly.

Add bit-crusher down-sampling, high and low-pass filters, complex envelope controls, network sharing, WAV and MIDI export, BPM info, and a whole lot more, and you've got a party in your pocket.

Price: $19.99

  BeatMaker screenshot

  SoftServe Poop Machine screenshot

Stupid: SoftServe Poop Machine

They say: "Created especially for all you fans of iFart and the dozens of other fart and poop apps on the app store. Did we say Chocolate Fudge? Mmmm!"

The Reg says: Really, what exactly can you say about an app such as SoftServe Poop Machine? That its controls for curvature, length, and thickness allow you to create an inspiringly aesthetic digital dump?

How about, instead, we simply shout for professional help: "Dr. Freud! Dr. Freud! Calling Dr. Freud!"

Price: 99¢


Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Next page: No. 4

More from The Register

next story
Broadband sellers in the UK are UP TO no good, says Which?
Speedy network claims only apply to 10% of customers
YOU are the threat: True confessions of real-life sysadmins
Who will save the systems from the men and women who save the systems from you?
Virgin Media struck dumb by NATIONWIDE packet loss balls-up
Turning it off and on again fixes glitch 12 HOURS LATER
Facebook, working on Facebook at Work, works on Facebook. At Work
You don't want your cat or drunk pics at the office
Soz, web devs: Google snatches its Wallet off the table
Killing off web service in 3 months... but app-happy bonkers are fine
prev story

Whitepapers

Choosing cloud Backup services
Demystify how you can address your data protection needs in your small- to medium-sized business and select the best online backup service to meet your needs.
Getting started with customer-focused identity management
Learn why identity is a fundamental requirement to digital growth, and how without it there is no way to identify and engage customers in a meaningful way.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Simplify SSL certificate management across the enterprise
Simple steps to take control of SSL across the enterprise, and recommendations for a management platform for full visibility and single-point of control for these Certificates.
Saudi Petroleum chooses Tegile storage solution
A storage solution that addresses company growth and performance for business-critical applications of caseware archive and search along with other key operational systems.