Smart: BeatMaker

They say: "Inspired by professional drum machines, samplers, and sequencers, BeatMaker combines them into one inspirational instrument."

The Reg says: Here's incontrovertible proof that the iPhone is no toy.

BeatMaker is a full-fledged music-maker, with 16 trigger pads (up to five at once) to play samples either from its included library or recorded on the go. A multi-resolution, multi-track step sequencer supports pattern creation and assembly.

Add bit-crusher down-sampling, high and low-pass filters, complex envelope controls, network sharing, WAV and MIDI export, BPM info, and a whole lot more, and you've got a party in your pocket.

Price: $19.99

Stupid: SoftServe Poop Machine

They say: "Created especially for all you fans of iFart and the dozens of other fart and poop apps on the app store. Did we say Chocolate Fudge? Mmmm!"

The Reg says: Really, what exactly can you say about an app such as SoftServe Poop Machine? That its controls for curvature, length, and thickness allow you to create an inspiringly aesthetic digital dump?

How about, instead, we simply shout for professional help: "Dr. Freud! Dr. Freud! Calling Dr. Freud!"

Price: 99¢