Smart: Shazam

They say: "With Shazam you can identify music tracks, buy them, and share the tags with friends."

The Reg says: Just point your iPhone toward any recorded music, press the Tag button, and in a befuddlingly brief bit of time, Shazan identifies the song, then presents you with info about it, its lyrics, the artist, related videos, and more. You can photo-identify your tags, buy the tune directly from iTunes - everything except splitting a spliff with the lead singer.

Shazam's accuracy is nothing short of astonishing. In our tests, it even correctly identified the 1966 version of "Hey Joe" by the relatively obscure L.A. garage-rock band, The Leaves. Nice.

Price: free

Stupid: iGirl - She Obeys (Lite)

They say: "iGirl Combines Fun and Flirtation to Offer Users a Playful App for Entertainment."

The Reg says: This poorly rendered 3D object of dork desire can be swiveled, poked, and fantasized about by a deeply repressed male user.

From the makers of the equally pathetic Drunk Sniper - Urinal Fun ("TURN YOUR IPHONE OR IPOD TOUCH INTO MALE BODY ORGAN!!!"), this Lite version can be upgraded to the 99¢ full iGirl - She Obeys version, which offers more clothing, hair color, and "action" options.

Plus "blowing-on-your-iPhone" fun. Don't ask. Please.

Price: free