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iPhone apps - the 10 smartest and the 10 stupidest

One man's meat is another man's poison

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

But wait. There's more...

Although the 20 apps above all deserve their glory or shame, there are many more worthies that inspire either commendation or condemnation. Here are but a few notable also-rans:

More Smarts: The Honorable-Mention Top Ten

  • Air Sharing Pro - document manager ($4.99)
    "The most powerful way to view your documents on the go."
  • AP Mobile News Network - news aggregator (free)
    "Read, share, search and save breaking news. It's local. It's comprehensive."
  • Bloom - music creator ($3.99)
    "Bloom is an endless music machine, a music box for the 21st century. You can play it, and you can watch it play itself" - Brian Eno
  • Epiphany Record screenshot
  • Epiphany Recorder - recording app (free)
    "Epiphany is the ONLY recorder that lets you capture important moments AFTER they've happened."
  • GigBaby! - music tool (99¢)
    "Use it anywhere and any time to practice harmonies, capture and record ideas, compose new music, and share your music with others over the network."
  • Mocha VNC - VNC utility ($5.99)
    "Connect to a Windows PC or Mac OS X and see the files, programs, and resources exactly as you would as if you were sitting at your desk."
  • ShapeWriter Pro - text-entry app ($4.99)
    "Instead of tapping one letter at a time, you simply slide your finger from letter to letter on the keyboard and lift to complete an entire word."
  • Simplify Music 2 - remote-music app ($2.99)
    "Access your home computer's digital music library on your iPhone or iPod touch, anytime and anywhere."
  • Stanza - ebook reader (free)
    "Your entire summer reading, your class syllabus for the whole year, all the reference materials you will ever need: all at your fingertips. Literally."
  • Time Tracker - time-accounting app ($2.99)
    "TimeTracker helps you keep track of your time everywhere and everytime right on your iPhone or iPod touch."

More Stupidity: The Dishonorable-Mention Top Ten

  • Bar Fight Bottle - bar-fight simulator (99¢)
    "WARNING: You are not meant to actually hit anybody with your bottle!"
  • Beans - lunch'n'farts simulator (free)
    "Once you get a few scoops of baked beans the fun begins. Keep eating to keep the party rocking."
  • Carsplosion! - car-destruction animations (99¢)
    "Rather than solve [the annoying-driver] problem through bouts of road rage, virtually explode these punks with Carplosion!"
  • Proposal "Will you marry me?" screenshot
  • Golf HECKLER! - insult generator (99¢)
    "Play a fart or burp sound in your fellow golfers backswing or a belly LAUGH after a missed putt."
  • iGouge: Eye Poking Fun! - eye-poke animations (99¢)
    "Have you ever wanted to engage in a nice eye poke but couldn't because it's not socially acceptable or friendly?"
  • iLoogie - Spit and hock a loogie! - expectoration animations (free)
    "Have you ever wanted to spit on your boss, annoyiong buddy, or mother in law? Us too!"
  • iPuke - vomit sound effect (99¢)
    "Perfect for ... when you want a subtle way to tell the waiter you didn't particularly enjoy their food."
  • iPwn - prank app (99¢)
    "DO NOT USE THIS APPLICATION ON YOUNG CHILDREN OR PEOPLE WITH KNOWN MEDICAL CONDITIONS."
  • Ms. Fart - queef sound effects (99¢)
    "Why listen to an old man fart when you can listen to a lady?"
  • Proposal "Will you marry me?" - proposal generator (99¢)
    "Let's state the universal truth: You'd like to be unique without being pathetic ..."

And that's it. Preservation of our sanity demands that we stop here, but surely you know of more candidates for both the smartest and stupidest categories - and that's what Comments are for. ®

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