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Sophos punts anti-virus for Klingons

No more Betazoid sub-ether porn diallers

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Sophos is now offering anti-virus protection for Klingon speakers.

According to the company, you can use Klingon Anti-Virus from Sophos to "quickly perform an on-demand scan and find viruses, spyware, adware, zero-day threats, Betazoid sub-ether porn diallers, and Tribbles that your existing protection might have missed."

But this Warrior-friendly download can also run in tandem with your current non-Sophos anti-virus package, and as the company adds, "Phasers can be left set to stun."

You can grab the new app here. It runs on Windows 2000, XP, 2003, and Vista. But, Sophos says, it has "compatibility issues with the version of msxml4.dll used by cloaking devices on Romulan-modded D7-class battle cruisers. Installing this software on such vessels is punishable by ordeal of Ginst'a'Ed."

Anti-virus updates will be available for "30 galactic standard days."

Why Klingon? "Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Duis consequat odio vel risus fermentum at hendrerit sapien malesuada," Sophos explains.

And if you think that's Klingon, you should download the English version. Apparently, Sophos has unleashed its Klingon Anti-Virus a bit before its time.

Nonetheless, some see this as a masterclass in shrewd marketing. Whereas hardcore computer users often have trouble communicating in English, Klingon makes them feel right at home. And we all know that aliens should keep up with their anti-virus software. Remember what happened in Independence Day?

Meanwhile, at least one Sophos employee points to the new download as proof that the company has successfully weathered the worldwide economic meltdown. "It's good to see that the credit crunch hasn't bitten us yet," he says. "While other people are worried about down turns in IT spending, it seems that some people in Sophos have had the time between lighting cigars on £50 notes to turn out a version of the product in Klingon." ®

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