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Kanye West doesn't have a f***ing Twitter, OK?

Short-fused hip hop star in all-caps microblog bitchslap

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

American rapper and record producer Kanye West has issued a shouty missive against Twitter for allowing a bogus account carrying his name to amass more than one million followers on the microblogging site.

The star, who is not known for his zen-like calm or restraint, ranted on his blog yesterday in which he accused Twitter of being “irresponsible and deceitful to there [sic] faithful users”.

West employed the write-only-in-CAP-LOCKS technique to emphasise how very angry he is about Twitter’s apparent nonchalant attitude towards the real Kanye.

Here’s the grumpy blog post in full:

(This spaz comes courtesy of losers making fake Kanye West Twitter accounts) I DON'T HAVE A FUCKING TWITTER... WHY WOULD I USE TWITTER??? I ONLY BLOG 5 PERCENT OF WHAT I'M UP TO IN THE FIRST PLACE. I'M ACTUALLY SLOW DELIVERING CONTENT BECAUSE I'M TOO BUSY ACTUALLY BUSY BEING CREATIVE MOST OF THE TIME AND IF I'M NOT AND I'M JUST LAYING ON A BEACH I WOULDN'T TELL THE WORLD. EVERYTHING THAT TWITTER OFFERS I NEED LESS OF. THE PEOPLE AT TWITTER KNOW I DON'T HAVE A FUCKING TWITTER SO FOR THEM TO ALLOW SOMEONE TO POSE AS ME AND ACCUMULATE OVER A MILLION NAMES IS IRRESPONSIBLE AND DECEITFUL TO THERE FAITHFUL USERS. REPEAT... THE HEADS OF TWITTER KNEW I DIDN'T HAVE A TWITTER AND THEY HAVE TO KNOW WHICH ACCOUNTS HAVE HIGH ACTIVITY ON THEM. IT'S A FUCKING FARCE AND IT MAKES ME QUESTION WHAT OTHER SO CALLED CELEBRITY TWITTERS ARE ACTUALLY REAL OR FAKE. HEY TWITTER, TAKE THE SO CALLED KANYE WEST TWITTER DOWN NOW .... WHY? ... BECAUSE MY CAPS LOCK KEY IS LOUD!!!!!!!!!

A quick search of Twitter, however, suggests that the unprofitable website has nixed the account West hits out at. There's still plenty of other pretenders to be found there, though, mostly telling a "gurl" what a nice picture she has and asking ladies everywhere to "come down to meh place" and "have sex wit meh". ®

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