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Swedish chopper chief demands fireproof bras

My girls are unprotected, Group Captain insists

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

A Swedish chopper fleet commander has demanded that his female pilots be granted the same degree of fireproofing enjoyed by their male counterparts - in the form of flameproof bras.

Group Captain Micael Byden insisted the existing underwear issued to the flygirls simply isn't up to the standard enjoyed by the boys. He told local paper Ostgota Correspondenten: "It is a question of basic safety. You can not have anything close to the body that can be set alight when you are flying."

Byden apparently also expressed doubts that "fireproof panties are being provided to female flyers", and he "guessed" that they are probably obliged to don male anti-nad-roast smalls.

While the Swedish armed forces' failure to address this jub-protection issue is somewhat disturbing, we're heartened by the fact that their sensitive handling of female operatives evidently prevents Byden from simply asking his chopper gals what kind of knickers they're wearing.

In case Wonderbra fancies exploiting the untapped flameproof brassiere market, we suggest it considers a polyamide-imide fibre such as Kermel - already protecting French combat helicopter pilots from the heat of battle. ®

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