Feeds

Oompa-Loompa v Tinky Winky: Shock scrap pic

Exclusive snap of mindless fancy dress violence

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction

The shock news earlier this week that an Oompa-Loompa, Tinky Winky and Spiderman had been cuffed after a nasty bout of fisticuffs at a Devon holiday camp prompted readers to demand an answer to that most pressing of questions: When the Tellytubbies and the Chocolate Factory employees go head-to-head, who's the last man standing?

Well, we can answer that for you, with this harrowing image of the mindless violence, captured as ever by our fearless man on the spot (click on the pic for a bigger version):

Our exclusive snap of the fancy dress brawl

As you can see, despite some commenters' assertion that Oompa-Loompas are as hard as a sackful of Chuck Norris brand nails, Tinky Winky has just knocked the poor blighter senseless with a left hook and is about to follow up with a broken bottle.

A cackling Jacqui Smith, meanwhile, has just realised the awesome powers endowed by her terror-busting Spiderman cozzie, and accordingly intends to make short work of Michael Savage.

The US shock-jock, having been banned from the UK for excessive gobbing off, has decided to try and sneak into the country posing as someone he believes will slip under Blighty's immigration radar - an extremist Liberal pro-abortion suicide bomber armed with an AK47.

While security operative Optimus Prime looks on helpless, Victoria Principal - not in fancy dress but unrecognisable under 20 years of sensitive facial nip-and-tuck - is (allegedly) attempting to pop a cap in her Mexican maid on the grounds that the minimum-wage lackey failed to ensure her Shih Tzu mutt defecated within the prescribed timescale.

In the process, the pair are in serious danger of disturbing a Frenchman who, having worked his way through the entire buffet over four hours, has retired to bed with a bottle of calvados and has so far slept soundly through the entire rumpus.

Finally, the CCTV screen in the background has captured an unfortunate incident on the street in which a Singaporean businessman has sustained a serious injury to the groin area. While police and paramedics attend the scene, the chap's secretary is seen making good her escape through the club bearing the vital (censored, natch) evidence of how her intimate "dictation taking" went horribly, horribly wrong.

So now you know. ®

Related stories

All of El Reg's ground-breaking Playmobil coverage can be found right here

3 Big data security analytics techniques

More from The Register

next story
Forget the beach 'n' boardwalk, check out the Santa Cruz STEVE JOBS FOUNTAIN
Reg reader snaps shot of touching tribute to Apple icon
Oz bank in comedy Heartbleed blog FAIL
Bank: 'We are now safely patched.' Customers: 'You were using OpenSSL?'
Happy 40th Playmobil: Reg looks back at small, rude world of our favourite tiny toys
Little men straddle LOHAN, attend tiny G20 Summit... ah, sweet memories...
Lego is the TOOL OF SATAN, thunders Polish priest
New minifigs like Monster Fighters are turning kids to the dark side
Dark SITH LORD 'Darth Vader' joins battle to rule, er, Ukraine
Only I can 'make an empire out of a republic' intones presidential candidate
Chinese company counters pollution by importing fresh air
Citizens line up for bags of that sweet, sweet mountain air
Google asks April Fools: Want a job? Be our 'Pokemon Master'
Mountain View is prankin' like it's 1999...
prev story

Whitepapers

Designing a defence for mobile apps
In this whitepaper learn the various considerations for defending mobile applications; from the mobile application architecture itself to the myriad testing technologies needed to properly assess mobile applications risk.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.
Five 3D headsets to be won!
We were so impressed by the Durovis Dive headset we’ve asked the company to give some away to Reg readers.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Securing web applications made simple and scalable
In this whitepaper learn how automated security testing can provide a simple and scalable way to protect your web applications.