Feeds

Oompa-Loompa v Tinky Winky: Shock scrap pic

Exclusive snap of mindless fancy dress violence

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

The essential guide to IT transformation

The shock news earlier this week that an Oompa-Loompa, Tinky Winky and Spiderman had been cuffed after a nasty bout of fisticuffs at a Devon holiday camp prompted readers to demand an answer to that most pressing of questions: When the Tellytubbies and the Chocolate Factory employees go head-to-head, who's the last man standing?

Well, we can answer that for you, with this harrowing image of the mindless violence, captured as ever by our fearless man on the spot (click on the pic for a bigger version):

Our exclusive snap of the fancy dress brawl

As you can see, despite some commenters' assertion that Oompa-Loompas are as hard as a sackful of Chuck Norris brand nails, Tinky Winky has just knocked the poor blighter senseless with a left hook and is about to follow up with a broken bottle.

A cackling Jacqui Smith, meanwhile, has just realised the awesome powers endowed by her terror-busting Spiderman cozzie, and accordingly intends to make short work of Michael Savage.

The US shock-jock, having been banned from the UK for excessive gobbing off, has decided to try and sneak into the country posing as someone he believes will slip under Blighty's immigration radar - an extremist Liberal pro-abortion suicide bomber armed with an AK47.

While security operative Optimus Prime looks on helpless, Victoria Principal - not in fancy dress but unrecognisable under 20 years of sensitive facial nip-and-tuck - is (allegedly) attempting to pop a cap in her Mexican maid on the grounds that the minimum-wage lackey failed to ensure her Shih Tzu mutt defecated within the prescribed timescale.

In the process, the pair are in serious danger of disturbing a Frenchman who, having worked his way through the entire buffet over four hours, has retired to bed with a bottle of calvados and has so far slept soundly through the entire rumpus.

Finally, the CCTV screen in the background has captured an unfortunate incident on the street in which a Singaporean businessman has sustained a serious injury to the groin area. While police and paramedics attend the scene, the chap's secretary is seen making good her escape through the club bearing the vital (censored, natch) evidence of how her intimate "dictation taking" went horribly, horribly wrong.

So now you know. ®

Related stories

All of El Reg's ground-breaking Playmobil coverage can be found right here

Build a business case: developing custom apps

More from The Register

next story
Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD
'Officers were unable to determine Chicken's intent'
MEN WANTED to satisfy town full of yearning BRAZILIAN HOTNESS
'Prettier, better organised, more harmonious than if men were in charge'
Yes, but what are your plans if a DRAGON attacks?
Local UK gov outs most ridiculous FoI requests...
Drunkards warned: If you can't walk in a straight line, don't shop online, you fool!
Put it away boys. Cover them up ladies. Your credit cards, we mean
Why your mum was WRONG about whiffy tattooed people
They're a future source of RENEWABLE ENERGY
Murder accused DIDN'T ask Siri 'how to hide my roommate'
US court hears of cached browser image - not actual request
Chomp that sausage: Brits just LOVE scoffing a Full Monty
Sales of traditional brekkie foods soar as hungry folk get their mitts greasy
prev story

Whitepapers

A new approach to endpoint data protection
What is the best way to ensure comprehensive visibility, management, and control of information on both company-owned and employee-owned devices?
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Maximize storage efficiency across the enterprise
The HP StoreOnce backup solution offers highly flexible, centrally managed, and highly efficient data protection for any enterprise.
How modern custom applications can spur business growth
Learn how to create, deploy and manage custom applications without consuming or expanding the need for scarce, expensive IT resources.
Next gen security for virtualised datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.