Feeds

Google name 'worth $100 billion,' says Strategy Boutique

Joss sticks dropped for magic abacus

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

5 things you didn’t know about cloud backup

The most valuable brand in the known universe is Google, according to a survey produced by a Strategy Boutique that makes its living convincing companies that a specific financial value can be attached to something as amorphous as a brand.

The supremely confident brandmeisters at Millward Brown Optimor published their fourth annual BrandZ Top 100 Most Valuable Global Brands rankings on Wednesday, which would have you believe that Google's brand is worth exactly $100,039,000,000.

How was this astronomical valuation ascertained? According to Millward Brown Optimor, "The dollar value of each brand in the ranking is the sum of all future earnings that brand is forecast to generate, discounted to a present day value."

Ah, that clears it up. These wizards can see into the future. Would that the lords of Wall Street had contacted MBO at about this time last year.

To divine their crystal-clear future, MBO's quants calculate how much of a company's earnings will be captured "under the banner of the brand," how much those earnings will be influenced by the "brand’s close bond with its customers," and project the "growth potential of these branded earnings."

Ain't science grand?

Gazing into this crystal ball, which is based on a "methodology similar to that employed by analysts and accountants," the top ten global brand values are as follows (in millions):

  1. Google: $100,039
  2. Microsoft: $76,249
  3. Coca-Cola: $67,625
  4. IBM: $66,622
  5. McDonald's: $66,575
  6. Apple: $63,113
  7. China Mobile: $61,283
  8. General Electric: $59,793
  9. Vodafone: $53,727
  10. Marlboro: $49,460

If you want to see the remaining 90, you'll need to download your own copy of the Top 100 here (PDF).

If you do, you'll be treated to a lecture on the sacred populist origin of brands by the Dickensianly named Jeremy Bullmore, which traces branding back to "women in primitive villages [who] would buy their cooking oil from unmarked steel barrels."

You'll also be educated by nuggets of "whodathunkit?" wisdom such as "Consumers are less willing to pay a premium for a resource that is readily available at a fraction of the price," "Consumers are not in the mood for greed," and the stunning news that "Brands in the financial institutions category that were less exposed to the credit crisis enjoyed healthier growth in brand value."

The mind melts at the power of such searing insight. ®

Bootnote

Our thanks to the good folks at MacDailyNews for tipping us off to this steaming load of codswallow.

Next gen security for virtualised datacentres

More from The Register

next story
Drunkards warned: If you can't walk in a straight line, don't shop online, you fool!
Put it away boys. Cover them up ladies. Your credit cards, we mean
Yes, but what are your plans if a DRAGON attacks?
Local UK gov outs most ridiculous FoI requests...
Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD
'Officers were unable to determine Chicken's intent'
Why your mum was WRONG about whiffy tattooed people
They're a future source of RENEWABLE ENERGY
Murder accused DIDN'T ask Siri 'how to hide my roommate'
US court hears of cached browser image - not actual request
Chomp that sausage: Brits just LOVE scoffing a Full Monty
Sales of traditional brekkie foods soar as hungry folk get their mitts greasy
Nuts to your poncey hipster coffees, I want a TESLA ELECTRO-CAFE
Examining the frothy disconnect in indie cafe culture
prev story

Whitepapers

Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
5 things you didn’t know about cloud backup
IT departments are embracing cloud backup, but there’s a lot you need to know before choosing a service provider. Learn all the critical things you need to know.
Why and how to choose the right cloud vendor
The benefits of cloud-based storage in your processes. Eliminate onsite, disk-based backup and archiving in favor of cloud-based data protection.
Top 8 considerations to enable and simplify mobility
In this whitepaper learn how to successfully add mobile capabilities simply and cost effectively.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?