Feeds

Google name 'worth $100 billion,' says Strategy Boutique

Joss sticks dropped for magic abacus

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Seven Steps to Software Security

The most valuable brand in the known universe is Google, according to a survey produced by a Strategy Boutique that makes its living convincing companies that a specific financial value can be attached to something as amorphous as a brand.

The supremely confident brandmeisters at Millward Brown Optimor published their fourth annual BrandZ Top 100 Most Valuable Global Brands rankings on Wednesday, which would have you believe that Google's brand is worth exactly $100,039,000,000.

How was this astronomical valuation ascertained? According to Millward Brown Optimor, "The dollar value of each brand in the ranking is the sum of all future earnings that brand is forecast to generate, discounted to a present day value."

Ah, that clears it up. These wizards can see into the future. Would that the lords of Wall Street had contacted MBO at about this time last year.

To divine their crystal-clear future, MBO's quants calculate how much of a company's earnings will be captured "under the banner of the brand," how much those earnings will be influenced by the "brand’s close bond with its customers," and project the "growth potential of these branded earnings."

Ain't science grand?

Gazing into this crystal ball, which is based on a "methodology similar to that employed by analysts and accountants," the top ten global brand values are as follows (in millions):

  1. Google: $100,039
  2. Microsoft: $76,249
  3. Coca-Cola: $67,625
  4. IBM: $66,622
  5. McDonald's: $66,575
  6. Apple: $63,113
  7. China Mobile: $61,283
  8. General Electric: $59,793
  9. Vodafone: $53,727
  10. Marlboro: $49,460

If you want to see the remaining 90, you'll need to download your own copy of the Top 100 here (PDF).

If you do, you'll be treated to a lecture on the sacred populist origin of brands by the Dickensianly named Jeremy Bullmore, which traces branding back to "women in primitive villages [who] would buy their cooking oil from unmarked steel barrels."

You'll also be educated by nuggets of "whodathunkit?" wisdom such as "Consumers are less willing to pay a premium for a resource that is readily available at a fraction of the price," "Consumers are not in the mood for greed," and the stunning news that "Brands in the financial institutions category that were less exposed to the credit crisis enjoyed healthier growth in brand value."

The mind melts at the power of such searing insight. ®

Bootnote

Our thanks to the good folks at MacDailyNews for tipping us off to this steaming load of codswallow.

Seven Steps to Software Security

More from The Register

next story
Delaware pair nabbed for getting saucy atop Mexican eatery
Burrito meets soft taco in alleged rooftop romp outrage
Japanese artist cuffed for disseminating 3D ladyparts files
Printable genitalia fall foul of 'obscene material' laws
Brit Rockall adventurer poised to quit islet
Occupation records broken, champagne corks popped
Apple: No, China. iPhone is NOT public enemy number 1
Beijing fears it could beam secrets back to America
Canuck reader threatens suicide over exact dimensions of SPAAAACE!
How many As? Reg hack's writing cops a shoeing
Accused! Yahoo! exec! SUES! her! accuser!, says! sex! harassment! never! happened!
Allegations were for 'financial gain', countersuit claims
Carlos: Slim your working week to just three days of toil
'Midas World' vision suggests you retire later, watch more tellie and buy more stuff
prev story

Whitepapers

Top three mobile application threats
Prevent sensitive data leakage over insecure channels or stolen mobile devices.
The Essential Guide to IT Transformation
ServiceNow discusses three IT transformations that can help CIO's automate IT services to transform IT and the enterprise.
Mobile application security vulnerability report
The alarming realities regarding the sheer number of applications vulnerable to attack, and the most common and easily addressable vulnerability errors.
How modern custom applications can spur business growth
Learn how to create, deploy and manage custom applications without consuming or expanding the need for scarce, expensive IT resources.
Consolidation: the foundation for IT and business transformation
In this whitepaper learn how effective consolidation of IT and business resources can enable multiple, meaningful business benefits.