UK Border Agency officials in Newcastle were patting themselves on the back this weekend after they turned back a Brazillian woman, whose suitcase contained nothing more than a few T-shirts and an extensive collection of boudoir wear.

The un-named 32-year-old was refused entry at Newcastle airport after border staff searched her suitcase and found it contained just three three t-shirts, a dressing gown and a large amount of lingerie, the Telegraph reports.

Further investigations revealed that she had been previously knocked back by Belfast's border guards in similar circumstances, and that Ulster's finest had also uncovered a "collection of sexual paraphenalia including a diary/address book containing details for numerous male contacts, escort agencies and sex sites."

As well as demonstrating that the government is serious about protecting Britain's borders, the apprehension of the inter-continental floozy also adds substance to Gordon Brown's pledge to keep British jobs for British workers.

However, it perhaps bodes less well for home-coming Geordie lasses, for whom lingerie and/or a skimpy T-shirt constitutes a suitable ensemble for a night down the Bigg Market. ®

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