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Miss Universe pops into Guantánamo Bay

'It was a loooot of fun!'

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Those of you stuck for a holiday destination this summer might consider Guantánamo Bay - described last week by Miss Universe Dayana Mendoza as a "loooot of fun!"

Venezuelan minx Mendoza, 22, popped into the US's illegal Caribbean detention centre accompanied by pal Crystle Stewart, who boasts the title Miss USA. On her blog, Mendoza "recounted how she and Stewart met US military personnel and toured the camp, with its barbed wire fences, minefields and watchtowers", as the Guardian puts it.

Mendoza added: "We also met the military dogs, and they did a very nice demonstration of their skills. All the guys from the army were amazing with us."

The two gals were on a United Service Organizations morale-boosting jaunt to the sun-kissed American corner of Cuba, and Mendoza noted: "We visited the detainees' camps and we saw the jails, where they shower, how the[y] recreate themselves with movies, classes of art, books. It was very interesting."

She admitted: "I didn't want to leave, it was such a relaxing place, so calm and beautiful."

And no wonder, because when the pair weren't marvelling at how the US military gently induces prisoners to "recreate themselves", they stumbled across an "unbelieveable" beach in the bay.

The blog entry now appears to have been stuck on a rendition flight to oblivion, but Miss Universe prez, Paula M. Shugart, yesterday offered a statement on the matter, which sort-of clarified:

Dayana Mendoza’s comments on her blog were in reference to the hospitality she received while meeting the members of the U.S. military and their families who are stationed in Guantánamo.

Which we take to mean: "Guantánamo Bay is 'calm and beautiful' as long as you aren't there for 'recreation'." ®

Bootnote

Despite the date, this story is completely true. We wish it wasn't, but there you go...

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