Feeds

WiReD UK: ET found in 19 years

Do they know something we don't?

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Intelligent flash storage arrays

Good news for Reg correspondent aManfromMars - he'll no long be punning alone. WiReD magazine UK editor David Rowan reckons ET will have been discovered within 19 years.

The magazine (re-)launches in Britain next week, with Conde Nast picking up 12 years after it last crashed and burned. Rowan's prediction is part of the pre-publicity. Since the Daily Stenograph is obsessed with ET at the moment - it was the natural place to make this confident claim.

But we think Rowan may know more than he lets on.

Compare this picture of David from his days as editor of the Jewish Chronicle with this picture, which accompanied the Steno! profile yesterday.

One minute he's Mr Bean, the next, ...

Planet Botox calling

So not only do aliens exist - but we know where they're from: the Planet Botox, in the Max Factor galaxy.

Rowan throws us another clue. Despite pitching WiReD as a "magazine of ideas", he disarmingly confesses not to have any ideas of his own. That's not a problem, because he can rely on a higher intelligence.

“The great thing about being editor of WiReD," he tells the Steno!, "is that you can rely on the data and on futurologists rather than on your own flawed opinions, and these people are pretty big. So whatever they collectively agree on is a pretty safe bet.”

Presumably these (cough) "futurologists" are also green, and glow in the dark? Your secret's safe with us, David. ®

Bootnote

El Reg readers welcomed the return of WiReD UK in fine style last year - browse this fabulous selection of cover art created by readers.

 

But of the many fine feature ideas readers suggested, there is one we can look forward to that no one could have predicted. One article features "... renowned writer Alain de Botton driving dumper trucks and JCBs around the DiggerLand theme park."

You can't make it up.

Intelligent flash storage arrays

More from The Register

next story
Criticism of Uber's journo-Data Analytics plan is an Attack on DIGITAL FREEDOM
First they came for Emil – and I'm damn well SPEAKING OUT
'It is comforting to know where your data centres are.' UK.GOV does NOT
Plus: Anons are 'wannabes', KKK says, before being pwned
Google's whois results say it's a lousy smut searcher
Run whois google.com or whois microsoft.com. We dare you, you PIG◙◙◙◙ER
Holy vintage vehicles! Earliest known official Batmobile goes on sale
Riddle me this: are you prepared to pay US$180k?
'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?
Plus: Flame of the Week returns, for one night only!
NEWSFLASH: It's time to ditch dullard Facebook chums
Everything hot in tech, courtesy of avian anchor Regina Eggbert
Hey, you, PHONE-FACE! Kickstarter in-car mobe mount will EMBED your phone into your MUG
Stick it on the steering wheel and wait for the airbag to fire
prev story

Whitepapers

Driving business with continuous operational intelligence
Introducing an innovative approach offered by ExtraHop for producing continuous operational intelligence.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
How to determine if cloud backup is right for your servers
Two key factors, technical feasibility and TCO economics, that backup and IT operations managers should consider when assessing cloud backup.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Internet Security Threat Report 2014
An overview and analysis of the year in global threat activity: identify, analyze, and provide commentary on emerging trends in the dynamic threat landscape.