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WiReD UK: ET found in 19 years

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Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Good news for Reg correspondent aManfromMars - he'll no long be punning alone. WiReD magazine UK editor David Rowan reckons ET will have been discovered within 19 years.

The magazine (re-)launches in Britain next week, with Conde Nast picking up 12 years after it last crashed and burned. Rowan's prediction is part of the pre-publicity. Since the Daily Stenograph is obsessed with ET at the moment - it was the natural place to make this confident claim.

But we think Rowan may know more than he lets on.

Compare this picture of David from his days as editor of the Jewish Chronicle with this picture, which accompanied the Steno! profile yesterday.

One minute he's Mr Bean, the next, ...

Planet Botox calling

So not only do aliens exist - but we know where they're from: the Planet Botox, in the Max Factor galaxy.

Rowan throws us another clue. Despite pitching WiReD as a "magazine of ideas", he disarmingly confesses not to have any ideas of his own. That's not a problem, because he can rely on a higher intelligence.

“The great thing about being editor of WiReD," he tells the Steno!, "is that you can rely on the data and on futurologists rather than on your own flawed opinions, and these people are pretty big. So whatever they collectively agree on is a pretty safe bet.”

Presumably these (cough) "futurologists" are also green, and glow in the dark? Your secret's safe with us, David. ®

Bootnote

El Reg readers welcomed the return of WiReD UK in fine style last year - browse this fabulous selection of cover art created by readers.

 

But of the many fine feature ideas readers suggested, there is one we can look forward to that no one could have predicted. One article features "... renowned writer Alain de Botton driving dumper trucks and JCBs around the DiggerLand theme park."

You can't make it up.

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