Feeds

NYC 'Top Model' stampede: The truth revealed

Exclusive snaps of Manhattan mayhem

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction

NYC was last weekend witness to shock scenes at an audition for America's Next Top Model as a panic-stricken crowd of hopefuls stampeded through Manhattan, scattering designer bags and expensive shoes in their wake as law-enforcement operatives attempted to restore order.

The media line on the pandemonium is that it was provoked by an overheating car which some of the wannabe clotheshorses believed might be a bomb. However, the word on the street says otherwise, as we'll reveal shortly.

Meanwhile, here's a snap from our man in New York, who was as ever strategically placed to capture the action:

The NYC Top Model stampede

The Woman of Colour™ seen at the centre is not, we stress, Naomi Campbell. Ms Campbell doesn't do running away - she pays someone to run away for her.

Well, the picture doesn't reveal much about what might have caused the incident, but NYPD sources have exclusively revealed to El Reg three events simultaneous to the audition which may have contributed...

1: The improvised press conference

Here we see Paris Hilton, Jennifer Lopez and Lindsay Lohan availing themselves of the media attending the Top Model bash to announce they'll be starring in a follow-up to The Hottie and the Nottie - entitled Three Hotties, Two Notties and a Fistful of Razzies.

Paris Hilton, Jennifer Lopez and Lindsay Lohan

The screenplay for the sequel was penned by Hilton's dog, pictured. Industry insiders say Mike Myers will exec-produce the project, with Ed Wood at the helm. Wood was, sources say, cloned from a small fragment of DNA taken from a dress used in 1953 classic Glen or Glenda.

The public reaction to the announcement was, as you can see, a rapid case of voting with the feet to exit the area as quickly as humanly possible.

3 Big data security analytics techniques

More from The Register

next story
Forget the beach 'n' boardwalk, check out the Santa Cruz STEVE JOBS FOUNTAIN
Reg reader snaps shot of touching tribute to Apple icon
Oz bank in comedy Heartbleed blog FAIL
Bank: 'We are now safely patched.' Customers: 'You were using OpenSSL?'
Happy 40th Playmobil: Reg looks back at small, rude world of our favourite tiny toys
Little men straddle LOHAN, attend tiny G20 Summit... ah, sweet memories...
Spanish village called 'Kill the Jews' mulls rebranding exercise
Not exactly attractive to the Israeli tourist demographic
Lego is the TOOL OF SATAN, thunders Polish priest
New minifigs like Monster Fighters are turning kids to the dark side
Dark SITH LORD 'Darth Vader' joins battle to rule, er, Ukraine
Only I can 'make an empire out of a republic' intones presidential candidate
Chinese company counters pollution by importing fresh air
Citizens line up for bags of that sweet, sweet mountain air
Google asks April Fools: Want a job? Be our 'Pokemon Master'
Mountain View is prankin' like it's 1999...
prev story

Whitepapers

Designing a defence for mobile apps
In this whitepaper learn the various considerations for defending mobile applications; from the mobile application architecture itself to the myriad testing technologies needed to properly assess mobile applications risk.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.
Five 3D headsets to be won!
We were so impressed by the Durovis Dive headset we’ve asked the company to give some away to Reg readers.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Securing web applications made simple and scalable
In this whitepaper learn how automated security testing can provide a simple and scalable way to protect your web applications.