Feeds

NYC 'Top Model' stampede: The truth revealed

Exclusive snaps of Manhattan mayhem

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Gartner critical capabilities for enterprise endpoint backup

NYC was last weekend witness to shock scenes at an audition for America's Next Top Model as a panic-stricken crowd of hopefuls stampeded through Manhattan, scattering designer bags and expensive shoes in their wake as law-enforcement operatives attempted to restore order.

The media line on the pandemonium is that it was provoked by an overheating car which some of the wannabe clotheshorses believed might be a bomb. However, the word on the street says otherwise, as we'll reveal shortly.

Meanwhile, here's a snap from our man in New York, who was as ever strategically placed to capture the action:

The NYC Top Model stampede

The Woman of Colour™ seen at the centre is not, we stress, Naomi Campbell. Ms Campbell doesn't do running away - she pays someone to run away for her.

Well, the picture doesn't reveal much about what might have caused the incident, but NYPD sources have exclusively revealed to El Reg three events simultaneous to the audition which may have contributed...

1: The improvised press conference

Here we see Paris Hilton, Jennifer Lopez and Lindsay Lohan availing themselves of the media attending the Top Model bash to announce they'll be starring in a follow-up to The Hottie and the Nottie - entitled Three Hotties, Two Notties and a Fistful of Razzies.

Paris Hilton, Jennifer Lopez and Lindsay Lohan

The screenplay for the sequel was penned by Hilton's dog, pictured. Industry insiders say Mike Myers will exec-produce the project, with Ed Wood at the helm. Wood was, sources say, cloned from a small fragment of DNA taken from a dress used in 1953 classic Glen or Glenda.

The public reaction to the announcement was, as you can see, a rapid case of voting with the feet to exit the area as quickly as humanly possible.

Next gen security for virtualised datacentres

More from The Register

next story
Drunkards warned: If you can't walk in a straight line, don't shop online, you fool!
Put it away boys. Cover them up ladies. Your credit cards, we mean
Yes, but what are your plans if a DRAGON attacks?
Local UK gov outs most ridiculous FoI requests...
Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD
'Officers were unable to determine Chicken's intent'
Murder accused DIDN'T ask Siri 'how to hide my roommate'
US court hears of cached browser image - not actual request
Why your mum was WRONG about whiffy tattooed people
They're a future source of RENEWABLE ENERGY
Chomp that sausage: Brits just LOVE scoffing a Full Monty
Sales of traditional brekkie foods soar as hungry folk get their mitts greasy
Nuts to your poncey hipster coffees, I want a TESLA ELECTRO-CAFE
Examining the frothy disconnect in indie cafe culture
Ex-Apple man Sam Sung - for it is he - sticks namebadge on eBay
Stump up via tat bazaar, do a good thing for ill kids
prev story

Whitepapers

5 things you didn’t know about cloud backup
IT departments are embracing cloud backup, but there’s a lot you need to know before choosing a service provider. Learn all the critical things you need to know.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Build a business case: developing custom apps
Learn how to maximize the value of custom applications by accelerating and simplifying their development.
Rethinking backup and recovery in the modern data center
Combining intelligence, operational analytics, and automation to enable efficient, data-driven IT organizations using the HP ABR approach.
Next gen security for virtualised datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.