Feeds

NYC 'Top Model' stampede: The truth revealed

Exclusive snaps of Manhattan mayhem

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

The Power of One Brief: Top reasons to choose HP BladeSystem

NYC was last weekend witness to shock scenes at an audition for America's Next Top Model as a panic-stricken crowd of hopefuls stampeded through Manhattan, scattering designer bags and expensive shoes in their wake as law-enforcement operatives attempted to restore order.

The media line on the pandemonium is that it was provoked by an overheating car which some of the wannabe clotheshorses believed might be a bomb. However, the word on the street says otherwise, as we'll reveal shortly.

Meanwhile, here's a snap from our man in New York, who was as ever strategically placed to capture the action:

The NYC Top Model stampede

The Woman of Colour™ seen at the centre is not, we stress, Naomi Campbell. Ms Campbell doesn't do running away - she pays someone to run away for her.

Well, the picture doesn't reveal much about what might have caused the incident, but NYPD sources have exclusively revealed to El Reg three events simultaneous to the audition which may have contributed...

1: The improvised press conference

Here we see Paris Hilton, Jennifer Lopez and Lindsay Lohan availing themselves of the media attending the Top Model bash to announce they'll be starring in a follow-up to The Hottie and the Nottie - entitled Three Hotties, Two Notties and a Fistful of Razzies.

Paris Hilton, Jennifer Lopez and Lindsay Lohan

The screenplay for the sequel was penned by Hilton's dog, pictured. Industry insiders say Mike Myers will exec-produce the project, with Ed Wood at the helm. Wood was, sources say, cloned from a small fragment of DNA taken from a dress used in 1953 classic Glen or Glenda.

The public reaction to the announcement was, as you can see, a rapid case of voting with the feet to exit the area as quickly as humanly possible.

Eight steps to building an HP BladeSystem

More from The Register

next story
NSA man: 'Tell me about your Turkish connections'
Spooks ask Dabbsy to suggest a nice hotel with pool
Carlos: Slim your working week to just three days of toil
'Midas World' vision suggests you retire later, watch more tellie and buy more stuff
Motorist 'thought car had caught fire' as Adele track came on stereo
'FIRE' caption on dashboard prompts dunderheaded hard shoulder halt
Yahoo! Japan! launches! service! for! the! dead!
If you're reading this email, I am no longer alive
Plucky Rockall podule man back on (proper) dry land
Bold, barmy Brit adventurer Nick Hancock escapes North Atlantic islet
Russia sends SEX-CRAZED GECKOS to SPAAAAACE!
In space... no one can hear you're green...
Brit Rockall adventurer poised to quit islet
Occupation records broken, champagne corks popped
prev story

Whitepapers

Top three mobile application threats
Prevent sensitive data leakage over insecure channels or stolen mobile devices.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.
Designing a Defense for Mobile Applications
Learn about the various considerations for defending mobile applications - from the application architecture itself to the myriad testing technologies.
Build a business case: developing custom apps
Learn how to maximize the value of custom applications by accelerating and simplifying their development.