US reality TV 'star' attacked fiancé with laptop, cat, apples
Slammed his head in the door, too
A US reality TV 'star' was cuffed earlier this week for allegedly laying into her (now ex) fiancé with a cat, a laptop and, for good measure, a few apples, the New York Post reports.
Kenley Collins, 26, is apparently a fashion designer and a finalist in something called Project Runway. Early on Wednesday morning, she suffered a serious attack of the Naomi Campbells and threw a cat at her boyf - 28-year-old Zak Penley - as the poor bloke was asleep in their Brooklyn apartment.
Her victim fell to the floor, at which point she threw her laptop at him. She also "allegedly slammed a door on his head".
As Penley dialled 911, Collins "threw three apples at him and doused him with water", according to police sources.
Collins was arrested and charged with "assault and criminal possession of a weapon" - the latter being the cat, the New York Post interestingly notes. As she was released without bail from Brooklyn Supreme Court, she offered: "Fights happen, and that's that."
Collins was ordered to stay away from the apartment, but allowed to retrieve her belongings under police escort. As she "gleefully posed for pictures" outside her former residence, she said: "Zak blew this out of proportion in the police report. It was a break-up that went badly. He got what he wanted. I broke up with him. I just thought that we weren't ready to get married."
Regarding the cat, NYC animal control operatives said that "as long as the cat was not injured in the attack, they will not pursue cruelty charges". Disappointingly, the New York Post is unable to name either the make of the flying laptop or the variety of apples deployed during the domestic. ®
RE: Weaponized felines
"Law: "Cheer up AC... she said he got what he wanted, what more can you want?"
Well, I can say that you wanted a cattle prod rammed up your posterior, but that doesn't make it true, does it? No, I have to agree with AC 16:39 on this one."
*looks through bedroom window on street view* .... well you didn't find out on there.... ??? .... *checks for hidden cameras*..... ??? ..... maybe the wife's been blabbing again.... bugger
"Actually, anything capable of causing significant damage becomes a weapon the moment you use it as such."
So are you telling me should my 2 yr old nephew smack me in the eye with his toy car like he did this week, I could have got him arrested?! Awesome..... *dials 112*
Paris... because even SHE knew it was a sarcastic JOKE!
cat, computer & fruit
S'obvious - the whole thing was sponsored by Steve Jobs. The cat was called Snowflake (as owned by LISA Simspon), the fruit was Macintosh apples and the laptop was a Sony Vaio TX-770.
"Personally, I think the ideal cat to lob at someone you seriously dislike would be a liger, but at half a ton, you'd need to get a trebuchet into the bedroom first ."
I would think a Catapult would be a better choice.