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Come on, Sir Tim!

Celebrating Web 2(no point)0

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

One thing: I'll have to devise a document format, so that people can post up their documents on the system. I thought maybe some sort of highly-dilute SGML. Apart from anything else, a few angle bracket <tags> always seem to go down well with the [nationality redacted] contingent; I think they view them as some sort of tribute to Citroen.

Here are some tags I thought we could have:

<P> - mark a new paragraph

<H1>, <H2>, <H3>, <H4> etc - These indicate different levels of headings. I wonder how many I dare put in before the Director of Communications tumbles to the fact that I am mocking the awful style of his PR releases. I think <H6> would be about right; he still won't understand the joke, but everybody else will see how ridiculous it is.

<LISTING>...</LISTING> -  This would be a tag which just treated our 'hyper-text' like ordinary text. This would allow us to load everything in pronto, and really get our plan to conquer the Earth rolling!

<NEXTID nnn> -  This would be a mysterious tag that nobody really understood, which wouldn't work unless the software was running on a NeXT. (Fun though this 'hyper-text' is, we must not lose sight of the primary goal!)

<IMAGE SRC="Filename"> - Again, one to emphasise our need for NeXTness - a way of including images on the page.

<IMAGE_COMMENT SRC="Filename"> - This would be a way to allow people to comment on images, especially moving images. We could develop a special jargon for comments, possibly reflecting [individual's name redacted] immortal prose style, like this:

Lol! Waaay out video dude!!!!!!!! Thats got to be The. Best. Vid. Clip. Evaaaaa!!!??!!! Thats M.A.S.S.I.V.E

Although that might be taking the joke one step too far. I can't imagine a situation in which that sort of prose would get into the system!

Possibly I might even add some sort of cross-linking system, so that you can navigate from one place to another. But that part isn't too important - the main thing obviously is to secure the NeXT.

Oh, and assuming you aren't prepared to swallow TURDS (as it were), we should devise an impressive moniker for the thing - something alliterative that conjures up huge confidence and ambition. How about the Giant Global Grid? Or something with a slightly [nationality redacted] twist - always good for getting Euro-grants. How about the Magnificent Mondial Mesh?

Tell me what you think.

TBL.

PPS: Sorry; seem to have got carried away there. Don't forget about Jacques and the coffee! ®

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