One thing: I'll have to devise a document format, so that people can post up their documents on the system. I thought maybe some sort of highly-dilute SGML. Apart from anything else, a few angle bracket <tags> always seem to go down well with the [nationality redacted] contingent; I think they view them as some sort of tribute to Citroen.
Here are some tags I thought we could have:
<P> - mark a new paragraph
<H1>, <H2>, <H3>, <H4> etc - These indicate different levels of headings. I wonder how many I dare put in before the Director of Communications tumbles to the fact that I am mocking the awful style of his PR releases. I think <H6> would be about right; he still won't understand the joke, but everybody else will see how ridiculous it is.
<LISTING>...</LISTING> - This would be a tag which just treated our 'hyper-text' like ordinary text. This would allow us to load everything in pronto, and really get our plan to conquer the Earth rolling!
<NEXTID nnn> - This would be a mysterious tag that nobody really understood, which wouldn't work unless the software was running on a NeXT. (Fun though this 'hyper-text' is, we must not lose sight of the primary goal!)
<IMAGE SRC="Filename"> - Again, one to emphasise our need for NeXTness - a way of including images on the page.
<IMAGE_COMMENT SRC="Filename"> - This would be a way to allow people to comment on images, especially moving images. We could develop a special jargon for comments, possibly reflecting [individual's name redacted] immortal prose style, like this:
Lol! Waaay out video dude!!!!!!!! Thats got to be The. Best. Vid. Clip. Evaaaaa!!!??!!! Thats M.A.S.S.I.V.E
Although that might be taking the joke one step too far. I can't imagine a situation in which that sort of prose would get into the system!
Possibly I might even add some sort of cross-linking system, so that you can navigate from one place to another. But that part isn't too important - the main thing obviously is to secure the NeXT.
Oh, and assuming you aren't prepared to swallow TURDS (as it were), we should devise an impressive moniker for the thing - something alliterative that conjures up huge confidence and ambition. How about the Giant Global Grid? Or something with a slightly [nationality redacted] twist - always good for getting Euro-grants. How about the Magnificent Mondial Mesh?
Tell me what you think.
PPS: Sorry; seem to have got carried away there. Don't forget about Jacques and the coffee! ®
Time for a Trystan Joust ..... 42 Vanquish the Pack Jokers and Knavery ...
... and the Impertinence and Impudence of Imprudent Slavery.
"..... and really get our plan to conquer the Earth rolling!" ....
Dear Tim and Verity,
Verily, pardonnez moi, et mon francais, but who's phukcing up that excellent plan with their TURDySystems, which most probably definitely maybe surely might need a lot more than just some more work. Might I suggest a rocket, perfectly AIMed at the Fundamentals to put them into the Orbit of Intellectual Spin Protocols and out of their Misery and Miserly Existence.
And Tim, take a quick sprint around to the Upper MadHouse, there's a good chap, and give Lord Drayson a well AIMed kick up the Fundamentals too, to Energise the NIRobotIQs Phase for the NeXXXXT Generations of Science Fact and Public Fictions. By all Accounts he's a Good Egg with an Addiction for Speed and not a bit frightened of an Exotic Spend on a Rapid Vehicle to knock the Spots off Opposing Forces and Frighten the Natives and Horses.
And whilst there, in the Confines, you could also get the Trade and Investment Minister, Lord Davies of Abersoch, to show you the Third Party RBS Proposal alluded to here, admittedly rather too obscurely at that time, in that place*, on the Register .... "AIRewrite .....Re: A minister writes* " .... By amanfromMars Posted Thursday 12th March 2009 10:55 GMT ..... http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/03/11/uk_tech_actually_equals_cars/comments/ ....... for the Bank was so specifically requested to share two very explicit e-mails, right up the Hi-Tech Sector Street and Magnificent Mondial Mesh HiWAI.
* A Constant Work in Progress 42 Balance NEUKlearer Security with Crystal Clarity and for Match'n'Mixing/Phishing and Grooming Exclusive Needs with Inclusive Feeds.
I thought that
you were pulling my Tit about Tim , but then I realised that it is the way an Elementary Particle Physicist would write.
It has been suggested that it was actually Bill Gates that invented it, even if Al Gore has a strong claim to it(Al of the heated agitation about warming).
... they view them as some sort of tribute to Citroen."
It's "Citroën", though. :-)