Feeds

Italians boffins prove plausibility of spam-javelin spam

Todger-stretch device actually works

Remote control for virtualized desktops

Italian scientists appear to have taken an important step in proving that you really can "drive her wild with nine-inch length" and "make girls gasp when unzip flies" by proving that the Andropenis todger-stretch apparatus actually works.

According to the Telegraph, volunteers who tried out the penis-extending kit at the behest of the San Giovanni Battista Hospital at the University of Turin, "increased the length of their manhood by almost a third" over the period of a year.

The uni recruited 21 "highly motivated" chaps with an average age of 47 for its tests, in which they had to use the Andropenis - consisting of a plastic ring, two extender rods, and a silicone band to hold the penis in place - every day for six months. They were asked to start with 600 grams of traction for a month, rising progressively to 1,200 grams in month six. They were monitored for a further six months, by which time an average flaccid penis length of 2.82 inches had grown to 3.72 inches.

Urologist Dr Paolo Gontero confirmed: "Our study showed that the penile extender device produces an effective and durable lengthening of the penis, both in the flaccid and stretched state. If these results are confirmed by further research, we propose that the device should be used as a first-line treatment option for men seeking a penile lengthening procedure."

However, there are a couple of caveats here. Five of the volunteers failed to go the course for various reasons including "pain and penile bruising". Furthermore, customers looking for the claimed "girth increase of 0.6 inches" should note the study found "no significant increase" in babe-wowing width.

The Italian team's findings are published in today's edition of the British Journal of Urology International. ®

Bootnote

For further details on the Andropenis, check out the website. It's completely NSFW due to a rather crude animated photo sequence showing just how you put the thing on.

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

More from The Register

next story
Rosetta probot drilling DENIED: Philae has its 'LEG in the AIR'
NOT best position for scientific fulfillment
'Yes, yes... YES!' Philae lands on COMET 67P
Plucky probot aces landing on high-speed space rock - emotional scenes in Darmstadt
THERE it is! Philae comet lander FOUND in EXISTING Rosetta PICS
Crumb? Pixel? ALIEN? Better, it's a comet-catcher!
SEX BEAST SEALS may be egging each other on to ATTACK PENGUINS
Boffin: 'I think the behaviour is increasing in frequency'
HUMAN DNA 'will be FOUND ON MOON' – rocking boffin Brian Cox
Crowdfund plan to stimulate Blighty's space programme
Post-pub nosh neckfiller: The MIGHTY Scotch egg
Off to the boozer? This delicacy might help mitigate the effects
I'M SO SORRY, sobs Rosetta Brit boffin in 'sexist' sexy shirt storm
'He is just being himself' says proud mum of larger-than-life physicist
NASA launches new climate model at SC14
75 days of supercomputing later ...
prev story

Whitepapers

Why and how to choose the right cloud vendor
The benefits of cloud-based storage in your processes. Eliminate onsite, disk-based backup and archiving in favor of cloud-based data protection.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Reducing the cost and complexity of web vulnerability management
How using vulnerability assessments to identify exploitable weaknesses and take corrective action can reduce the risk of hackers finding your site and attacking it.
Saudi Petroleum chooses Tegile storage solution
A storage solution that addresses company growth and performance for business-critical applications of caseware archive and search along with other key operational systems.