Italians boffins prove plausibility of spam-javelin spam
Todger-stretch device actually works
Italian scientists appear to have taken an important step in proving that you really can "drive her wild with nine-inch length" and "make girls gasp when unzip flies" by proving that the Andropenis todger-stretch apparatus actually works.
According to the Telegraph, volunteers who tried out the penis-extending kit at the behest of the San Giovanni Battista Hospital at the University of Turin, "increased the length of their manhood by almost a third" over the period of a year.
The uni recruited 21 "highly motivated" chaps with an average age of 47 for its tests, in which they had to use the Andropenis - consisting of a plastic ring, two extender rods, and a silicone band to hold the penis in place - every day for six months. They were asked to start with 600 grams of traction for a month, rising progressively to 1,200 grams in month six. They were monitored for a further six months, by which time an average flaccid penis length of 2.82 inches had grown to 3.72 inches.
Urologist Dr Paolo Gontero confirmed: "Our study showed that the penile extender device produces an effective and durable lengthening of the penis, both in the flaccid and stretched state. If these results are confirmed by further research, we propose that the device should be used as a first-line treatment option for men seeking a penile lengthening procedure."
However, there are a couple of caveats here. Five of the volunteers failed to go the course for various reasons including "pain and penile bruising". Furthermore, customers looking for the claimed "girth increase of 0.6 inches" should note the study found "no significant increase" in babe-wowing width.
The Italian team's findings are published in today's edition of the British Journal of Urology International. ®
For further details on the Andropenis, check out the website. It's completely NSFW due to a rather crude animated photo sequence showing just how you put the thing on.