Feeds

Dominican lad suffers six-day stiffy

Doctors battle in vain to placate priapism

Gartner critical capabilities for enterprise endpoint backup

A 23-year-old male from the Dominican Republic spent five days in hospital suffering from an attack of priapism while doctors battled in vain to encourage his hideously empurpled member to succumb to deflatory treatment.

According to Peru's El Comercio, Antonio Rosa admitted to having quaffed "sexual stimulants" mixed with booze in anticipation of an "intimate encounter" with a female friend. One of the doctors who subsequently treated him explained: "A young patient was admitted a few days ago with a priapic problem. We carried out the usual treatments to encourage the penis to soften, but didn't manage to obtain the desired result."

Docs finally discharged a still-stiff Rosa, telling him that if his todger didn't surrender "within the next few hours", they'd have to operate. The fearful lad admitted he was rather concerned at the possibility that surgery might leave him impotent.

Regarding the cause of the epic hard-on, urologist Fausto Hernández dismissed the possibility that potency-enhancing drugs were the cause. He noted that priapism was commonly caused by a type of anemia in which deformed red blood cells block the penile cavernosa, provoking a "prolonged erection".

El Comercio does not offer any information on Rosa's current erectile state. ®

Bootnote

Thanks to Chris Winpenny for the hard news tip.

5 things you didn’t know about cloud backup

More from The Register

next story
MEN WANTED to satisfy town full of yearning BRAZILIAN HOTNESS
'Prettier, better organised, more harmonious than if men were in charge'
Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD
'Officers were unable to determine Chicken's intent'
Yes, but what are your plans if a DRAGON attacks?
Local UK gov outs most ridiculous FoI requests...
Drunkards warned: If you can't walk in a straight line, don't shop online, you fool!
Put it away boys. Cover them up ladies. Your credit cards, we mean
Why your mum was WRONG about whiffy tattooed people
They're a future source of RENEWABLE ENERGY
Murder accused DIDN'T ask Siri 'how to hide my roommate'
US court hears of cached browser image - not actual request
Chomp that sausage: Brits just LOVE scoffing a Full Monty
Sales of traditional brekkie foods soar as hungry folk get their mitts greasy
prev story

Whitepapers

Top 10 endpoint backup mistakes
Avoid the ten endpoint backup mistakes to ensure that your critical corporate data is protected and end user productivity is improved.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Backing up distributed data
Eliminating the redundant use of bandwidth and storage capacity and application consolidation in the modern data center.
The essential guide to IT transformation
ServiceNow discusses three IT transformations that can help CIOs automate IT services to transform IT and the enterprise
Next gen security for virtualised datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.