Feeds

Paris Hilton celebrates 28

Years, not amateur grumble flicks

Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction

It's with a great deal of pleasure that we today wish a very happy birthday to El Reg's fave celebutard Paris Hilton - she without whom Fridays would in the last couple of years have been a sorry affair indeed marked merely by wholly IT-related material and bereft of something for self-appointed commentard content guardians to bang on about at some length.

And speaking of lengths, Paris has of course only ever enjoyed two; 26 short of her anniversary which she will doubtless celebrate at home sobbing over snaps of Rwandan war children.

During her short but action-packed existence, Hilton has clocked up some jail time, owned a dog and trousered a few quid for turning up at nightclubs. She's also partially responsible - along with Naomi Capmbell and Playmobil - for this hack holding down a job for so long at the world's leading IT news website.

Accordingly, I'd like to wish Paris all the best on this special day and, if it's not too much trouble, could you suck face with Bill Gates before Friday? Ta very much. ®

3 Big data security analytics techniques

More from The Register

next story
Forget the beach 'n' boardwalk, check out the Santa Cruz STEVE JOBS FOUNTAIN
Reg reader snaps shot of touching tribute to Apple icon
Oz bank in comedy Heartbleed blog FAIL
Bank: 'We are now safely patched.' Customers: 'You were using OpenSSL?'
Happy 40th Playmobil: Reg looks back at small, rude world of our favourite tiny toys
Little men straddle LOHAN, attend tiny G20 Summit... ah, sweet memories...
Lego is the TOOL OF SATAN, thunders Polish priest
New minifigs like Monster Fighters are turning kids to the dark side
Dark SITH LORD 'Darth Vader' joins battle to rule, er, Ukraine
Only I can 'make an empire out of a republic' intones presidential candidate
Chinese company counters pollution by importing fresh air
Citizens line up for bags of that sweet, sweet mountain air
Google asks April Fools: Want a job? Be our 'Pokemon Master'
Mountain View is prankin' like it's 1999...
prev story

Whitepapers

Designing a defence for mobile apps
In this whitepaper learn the various considerations for defending mobile applications; from the mobile application architecture itself to the myriad testing technologies needed to properly assess mobile applications risk.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.
Five 3D headsets to be won!
We were so impressed by the Durovis Dive headset we’ve asked the company to give some away to Reg readers.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Securing web applications made simple and scalable
In this whitepaper learn how automated security testing can provide a simple and scalable way to protect your web applications.