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Paris Hilton celebrates 28

Years, not amateur grumble flicks

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

It's with a great deal of pleasure that we today wish a very happy birthday to El Reg's fave celebutard Paris Hilton - she without whom Fridays would in the last couple of years have been a sorry affair indeed marked merely by wholly IT-related material and bereft of something for self-appointed commentard content guardians to bang on about at some length.

And speaking of lengths, Paris has of course only ever enjoyed two; 26 short of her anniversary which she will doubtless celebrate at home sobbing over snaps of Rwandan war children.

During her short but action-packed existence, Hilton has clocked up some jail time, owned a dog and trousered a few quid for turning up at nightclubs. She's also partially responsible - along with Naomi Capmbell and Playmobil - for this hack holding down a job for so long at the world's leading IT news website.

Accordingly, I'd like to wish Paris all the best on this special day and, if it's not too much trouble, could you suck face with Bill Gates before Friday? Ta very much. ®

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