HD TV beats depression, claims HD TV company
It must be true, then
If you’re feeling a tad depressed then we’d admit that a comedy could help boost your spirits. But a questionable piece of Sky research claims to have concluded that watching HD TV programmes can help improve the viewer’s psychological well being.
According to the broadcaster, it’s apparently proven that “watching television programmes in high definition can combat the effects of the downturn depression”.
Sky enlisted the help of “renowned psychologist” Donna Dawson to identify the ”key visual factors” that stimulate the brain, increase endorphin levels and release serotonin in order to brighten up your mood.
Among Dawson's identified visual stimulants, “bright colours [can] lift your mood” to help you feel more positive and that some shows, such as comedies, will make you laugh and release feel good endorphins.
In addition, uplifting films or intense sport – viewed in HD, of course – make fed-up viewers feel invigorated.
So, armed with all its proven psychological statistics, Sky’s created the Happier Days TV Guide. Despite failing to contain any references to Richie, Joaine or The Fonz, the guide classifies a selection of shows according to their psychological benefits.
For example, Will Smith flick The Pursuit of Happyness is classified as an uplifting and inspirational film. Alternatively, romcom Run, Fat Boy, Run will make you laugh to lift your mood, reduce stress and even boost your immune system.
If you fancy a bonding session, then watch sing-along Don’t Forget the Lyrics or New Zealand: An Adventure Playground.
If you believe the hype, then you can download Sky’s Happier Days Guide online. ®
The Cure(tm) and How it Works
Volunteers who have depression all register for a test that may imporve their mood.
Sky bring them an HD TV set.
The control subjects do not get one.
Three weeks later the control subjects have had no change in mood.
The subjects who recieved an HD TV are all gleefully happy - they've got a free HD TV ffs!
Spend the money on something decent.
Seriously, in the closing down sales, for the price of an HDTV, Sky HD subscription and telly licence, you could buy so damn much. All the DVDs of Simpsons and Futurama that would be repeated ad nausium anyway for example.
That ought to elevate the mood.
You are not a special and unique snowflake,...
you are made of the same decaying organic matter as everything else.
Anyone who believes the results of this study, there is a new place for you - Twat Club!
"and everyone bitches about the scientists being assholes"
It's a living!
Re:I think I'll stick to the obsessive masturbation
Damn, you beat me to it.........It's a damn sight cheaper than a HD-TV and has been proved over thousands of years to be a great aid to cheering up.