Feeds

Obama's rainbow stealth aircraft uncloaks over Virginia

Spreading the luuurv in Chesapeake Bay

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk

As we're all now fully aware, the world officially became a lovelier place* on 20 January when Barack Obama was sworn in as the 44th prez of the US of A - a heartwarming ceremony at which he promised sunlit meadows in which children might gaily gambol, just as soon as he'd dealt with this pesky global economic apocalypse.

Obama also laid out his multicultural agenda, describing America as "shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this earth", and expressing his hope that "the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve".

This obviously rang a bell down at the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA), previously described by El Reg as "the legendary Pentagon barmy-boffinry bureau", and which recently suggested to the president it could fix the US economy.

Of course, DARPA's activities under president #43 - including laser energy cannons, invulnerable killbots and other high-tech dispensers of death are not exactly what's required to bring peace and prosperity to even the humblest African village.

Cue, then, the quite sensational rainbow stealth aircraft, caught here (or here on Google Earth) uncloaking over Tangier island in Chesapeake Bay:

Stealth aircraft seen over Tangier island on Google Maps

Yes indeed, long gone are the days of sinister, crow-like F-117s discharging their loads of air-to-ground armageddon over America's enemies, replaced by DARPA's luuurv-dispensing flying wing armed with the "GroupHug" good vibes generator guaranteed to melt even the sternest Taliban heart.

Of course, Tangier Island is the ideal location to test such a device. Its small population is containable should the generator deliver so great a feeling of wellbeing and goodwill to all men that the residents up sticks and head en masse for San Francisco with flowers in their hair.

The Register rang DARPA for a comment on its rainbow stealth aircraft, but a spokesboffin said: "Sorry, can't talk now - we're rearming our anthrax plague nanodroid swarm to innoculate kiddies against polio instead. Have a nice day." ®

Bootnote

*Actually, that's not strictly true: I watched the inauguration, and the weather is still crap. Where's the lovely weather we citizens of Earth were promised, eh?

Security for virtualized datacentres

More from The Register

next story
Are you a fat boy? Get to university NOW, you PENNILESS SLACKER
Rotund types paid nearly 20% less than people who didn't eat all the pies
Emma Watson should SHUT UP, all this abuse is HER OWN FAULT
... said an anon coward who we really wish hadn't posted on our website
Japan develops robot CHEERLEADERS which RIDE on BALLS
'Will put smiles on faces worldwide', predicts corporate PR chief
Bruges Booze tubes to pump LOVELY BEER underneath city
Belgian booze pumped from underground
Oz carrier Tiger Air takes terror alerts to new heights
Don't doodle, it might cost you your flight
Amazon: Wish in one hand, Twit in the other – see which one fills first
#AmazonWishList A year's supply of Arran scotch, ta
Let it go, Steve: Ballmer bans iPads from his LA Clippers b-ball team
Can you imagine the scene? 'Hey guys, it's your new owner – WTF is that on your desk?'
Oi, London thief. We KNOW what you're doing - our PRECRIME system warned us
Aye, shipmate, it be just like that Minority Report
prev story

Whitepapers

A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
Storage capacity and performance optimization at Mizuno USA
Mizuno USA turn to Tegile storage technology to solve both their SAN and backup issues.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Beginner's guide to SSL certificates
De-mystify the technology involved and give you the information you need to make the best decision when considering your online security options.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.