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Rapists should be raped, declares Jordan

Bulgarian airbag scaffold demands an eye for an eye

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Prodigiously Bulgarian airbagged glamour minx Jordan has announced that rapists should henceforce be raped themselves, one of a raft of proposed measures designed to restore law and order to the UK's crime-ravaged streets.

The would-be lawmaker - whose body sensationally comprises 40 per cent water, one per cent other stuff and 59 per cent silicone - told the Sun: “The way I see it is an eye for an eye. So if someone rapes a girl he should be bent over and the same thing done to him. I’m sorry that’s just the way I feel. I’m very strict.”

Jordan, aka Katie Price, further explained her crime-busting manifesto with: “If someone is done for drink-driving they should have their licence taken away for life. And if someone steals they should have to wear a dye on their skin, like a tattoo on their ear or somewhere it can be seen – like across their face! That would stop people stealing.”

It'll come as no surprise that Jordan is in favour of the death penalty, but did express her support for gay marriage. She's apparently upping sticks to the US with hubby Peter Andre, and we can't help but feel that her backing of homosexual nuptials may thwart her reported desire to become the first Texas Death Row nurse to insert a lethal injection canula while topless. ®

Bootnote

Interestingly, Jordan does not suggest a suitable punishment for parents who give their kids bloody silly names. Three years listening to A Whole New World, perhaps?

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