Feeds

Rapists should be raped, declares Jordan

Bulgarian airbag scaffold demands an eye for an eye

The Power of One eBook: Top reasons to choose HP BladeSystem

Prodigiously Bulgarian airbagged glamour minx Jordan has announced that rapists should henceforce be raped themselves, one of a raft of proposed measures designed to restore law and order to the UK's crime-ravaged streets.

The would-be lawmaker - whose body sensationally comprises 40 per cent water, one per cent other stuff and 59 per cent silicone - told the Sun: “The way I see it is an eye for an eye. So if someone rapes a girl he should be bent over and the same thing done to him. I’m sorry that’s just the way I feel. I’m very strict.”

Jordan, aka Katie Price, further explained her crime-busting manifesto with: “If someone is done for drink-driving they should have their licence taken away for life. And if someone steals they should have to wear a dye on their skin, like a tattoo on their ear or somewhere it can be seen – like across their face! That would stop people stealing.”

It'll come as no surprise that Jordan is in favour of the death penalty, but did express her support for gay marriage. She's apparently upping sticks to the US with hubby Peter Andre, and we can't help but feel that her backing of homosexual nuptials may thwart her reported desire to become the first Texas Death Row nurse to insert a lethal injection canula while topless. ®

Bootnote

Interestingly, Jordan does not suggest a suitable punishment for parents who give their kids bloody silly names. Three years listening to A Whole New World, perhaps?

Reducing security risks from open source software

More from The Register

next story
Carlos: Slim your working week to just three days of toil
'Midas World' vision suggests you retire later, watch more tellie and buy more stuff
Motorist 'thought car had caught fire' as Adele track came on stereo
'FIRE' caption on dashboard prompts dunderheaded hard shoulder halt
Brit Rockall adventurer poised to quit islet
Occupation records broken, champagne corks popped
Accused! Yahoo! exec! SUES! her! accuser!, says! sex! harassment! never! happened!
Allegations were for 'financial gain', countersuit claims
Yahoo! Japan! launches! service! for! the! dead!
If you're reading this email, I am no longer alive
Plucky Rockall podule man back on (proper) dry land
Bold, barmy Brit adventurer Nick Hancock escapes North Atlantic islet
NSA man: 'Tell me about your Turkish connections'
Spooks ask Dabbsy to suggest a nice hotel with pool
Japanese artist cuffed for disseminating 3D ladyparts files
Printable genitalia fall foul of 'obscene material' laws
prev story

Whitepapers

Designing a Defense for Mobile Applications
Learn about the various considerations for defending mobile applications - from the application architecture itself to the myriad testing technologies.
How modern custom applications can spur business growth
Learn how to create, deploy and manage custom applications without consuming or expanding the need for scarce, expensive IT resources.
Reducing security risks from open source software
Follow a few strategies and your organization can gain the full benefits of open source and the cloud without compromising the security of your applications.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.
Consolidation: the foundation for IT and business transformation
In this whitepaper learn how effective consolidation of IT and business resources can enable multiple, meaningful business benefits.