Feeds

UFO wind turbine prang site: Exclusive photos

What really went down in Lincolnshire

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

4: Jungle Jane

Oz perv fornicating with Jungle Jane

Our experts at first thought this was a hideous coupling of an extraterrestrial and an Earth woman - an attempt by aliens to breed a lizard/human hybrid capable of subjugating mankind to its masters' dark will. In fact, it's an Oz perv getting his end away with a nicked inflatable doll.

5: Swedish scientists

Two Swedes contemplate the failure of their bovine experiment

Here we see Anni-Frid and Agnetha from the Advanced Bovine Bothering Academy, who are expressing their disappointment that the herd of cows they'd been monitoring for a possible ability to detect UFO crashes have shown no response whatsoever to the incident. Anni-Frid is holding a bovine synaptic registrometer, designed to record the animals' emotional response to flying saucers, extreme weather and other potentially-stressful stimuli. Suffice it to say, despite spunking €2m on their research, the scientists have found cows indifferent to just about everything except bolt guns.

Choosing a cloud hosting partner with confidence

More from The Register

next story
Criticism of Uber's journo-Data Analytics plan is an Attack on DIGITAL FREEDOM
First they came for Emil – and I'm damn well SPEAKING OUT
'It is comforting to know where your data centres are.' UK.GOV does NOT
Plus: Anons are 'wannabes', KKK says, before being pwned
Google's whois results say it's a lousy smut searcher
Run whois google.com or whois microsoft.com. We dare you, you PIG◙◙◙◙ER
Holy vintage vehicles! Earliest known official Batmobile goes on sale
Riddle me this: are you prepared to pay US$180k?
'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?
Plus: Flame of the Week returns, for one night only!
NEWSFLASH: It's time to ditch dullard Facebook chums
Everything hot in tech, courtesy of avian anchor Regina Eggbert
Hey, you, PHONE-FACE! Kickstarter in-car mobe mount will EMBED your phone into your MUG
Stick it on the steering wheel and wait for the airbag to fire
prev story

Whitepapers

Designing and building an open ITOA architecture
Learn about a new IT data taxonomy defined by the four data sources of IT visibility: wire, machine, agent, and synthetic data sets.
Why CIOs should rethink endpoint data protection in the age of mobility
Assessing trends in data protection, specifically with respect to mobile devices, BYOD, and remote employees.
Getting started with customer-focused identity management
Learn why identity is a fundamental requirement to digital growth, and how without it there is no way to identify and engage customers in a meaningful way.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Security and trust: The backbone of doing business over the internet
Explores the current state of website security and the contributions Symantec is making to help organizations protect critical data and build trust with customers.