What a dick...

Paris; because she has about as many brains cells as this guy. ;)

It didn't work for John Darwin either.

Did a 'Crusty' then ?

And for those who don't watch The Simpsons because your straight jacket won't let you changes channels....

Crusty the Clown owed the IRS millions and faked his own death by crashing a light aircraft into a mountain but he had parachuted out just in time. Obviously Bart and Lisa found him and encouraged him to come back. But I'm ruining the plot....

... on how many comments will mention Steve Fossett.

didn't work for Krusty either

when will they learn?

"It subsequently crashed in a swamp near Milton, Florida, where investigators discovered "no signs of ... a smashed windshield"

That must be one robust windshield

Only Krust y managed a better job.

Thats brilliant! Why not just jump out the plane and NOT radio for help? Let some one find the wreck on its own? Only point it at mountains and not a frikking pond.

Idiot

i love the fact the windscreen wasnt even broken !!

Can you imagine being the fighter pilot though !

pull along side

Pilot 1:dude there no one flying that plane

Pilot2:No Waay man !! ROFLOL

So, is 'canoe' the new name for a parachute?

Surely he would've been better off flogging the plane and getting some cash for it? You can guarantee that no insurance company will pay for a plane that he voluntarily abandoned mid-flight!

Of course, he might have been trying to set up a one-man skydiving school, and just hadn't fully thought it through - I can just imagine someone thinking "bugger, how do I get the plane back?"

A deffinate Darwin award in the making!

...this guy needs to watch CSI to understand the capabilities of the modern police...

did pull it off successfully, however.

and the rozzers didn't bother to chase him???

'Yes, officer...I have my ID just over he - RUN AWAY!!!"

Grave, 'cos I for one believe him

Awarded annualy to those who deliberately try to take their own lives but fail in the most spectacularly dumb manner.

....would the military have been 'called to assist' I wonder?

There are few problems that can't be solved by running off into some nearby woods.

"Let's start a pool on how many comments will mention Steve Fossett."

Am I the only one to find it ironic that your comment is the only one to mention Mr. Fossett?

You're not as big a loser as the guy in the article, but hey, you seem to be halfway there already!

and you youngsters thought of the simpsons first? Shame on you.

Just

"The Twats"

The best way to fake your own death is hanging.

File your flight plan for a SOUTH Florida airport -- say somewhere around Tampa/St. Petersburg -- and jump out in Alabama before your flight path crosses the Florida panhandle and heads out over the Gulf of Mexico.

No last message, plane wreckage found in the Gulf, no body found...

Hell... leave a partial package of antihistamines and a half-empty bottle of rum with some clothes in a flight bag so they can come up with a plausible explanation of why you fell asleep, crashed in the ocean, and couldn't make it to shore...!

Honestly! Do I have to think of EVERYTHING around here...?

Hahahahaha. Hahahahaha. That's the funniest thing I've heard in a long time.

I'll give him credit for having a novel solution to his financial woes, but he really needs to work on his planning skills. Which, come to think of it, may be the reason he was in that mess to start with.

I wouldn't mind betting that he received his inspiration from that simpsons episode

The idiot should've actually smashed the windshield if he wanted to give some credibility to his claim. Even better: just crash the plane in some mountain without warning everyone ... then it might be possible to make everyone believe he's dead.

Oh, and don't use your dead man's ID as well. Idiot.

@Joe: The cops didn't chase him (the cop actually gave him a RIDE to the hotel) because the incident wasn't widely reported yet.

@AC: Yes, the military would indeed have been called to assist in a pre-9/11 world. Reference Payne Stewart's plane crash in 1999:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1999_South_Dakota_Learjet_crash

By the way, for the 9/11 conspiracy nuts out there, was this crash a part of a massive conspiracy to eliminate the golf legend? Note the lack of plane sized pieces in the wreckage, clearly the crater could not be from a plane, right? (oh wait, there's no money in DVD sales pitching that theory... carry on!).

Penguin icon... because they can't fly either.

Latest update... He has been found and arrested. Apparently since the plane crash plan didn't work as expected, he decided to slash his wrist (singular). He was found near Tallahassee, FL, in a tent at a campground and was arrested. Apparently he actually bailed out of the plane over Alabama, near where he had secreted a motorcycle. In any case, he is now in custody, with a lot of explaining to do.

Paris, because he could have used a loan from her... and a shoulder to cry on.

Even if the plane crashed and burned, they'd still notice a distinct lack of a body. You have to crash into the ocean for faking your own death in a plane crash, because it's fairly normal to climb out and swim for land then... Everyone assumes you drowned and/or got eaten by things.

Surely he could have either (a) turned the autopilot off before jumping, or (b) programmed the autopilot to head towards a suitable crash site.

Oh, and (c) planned it a bit better, i.e. withdrawing what remained of his cash, and leaving his wallet (sans cash, but with ID and bank cards) in the plane.