Feeds

I've only shagged two blokes, insists Paris Hilton

'Mostly I just kiss', claims amateur grumble flick star

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

It was a bit lonely over Xmas without a single snippet of seasonal Paris Hilton news, so we're delighted to offer today some hot celebutard goss guaranteed to warm the cockles of your chilly parts - our fave jetsetter insists she's made the beast with two backs with just two people.

According to the Standard, the talented and effervescent blonde confirmed: "I've only done it with a couple of people. People make up stories, but mostly I just kiss."

If true, the sensational news means that no less than 50 per cent of Hilton's sexual encounters have ended up as X-rated amateur grumble vids splashed across cyberspace, following Rick Saloman's enjoyment of One Night in Paris.

Readers are invited to speculate just who the second fortunate fella to spend some time in Paris might be, with models Jason Shaw, James Neate and Alex Vaggo, Greek shipping heirs Paris Latsis and Stavros Niarchos and Brit crooner James Blunt among the possible candidates.

The sceptical among you who suspect that Paris has enjoyed considerably more than two pork swords and is now telling pork pies might like to consider that she was, like, really busy last year swanning about nightclub events in return for not inconsiderable fees.

When pressed as to how much she'd trousered, Hilton admitted: "Actually, it was more than $8m. I get half a million just to show up at parties."

She perfectly reasonably concluded: "My life is, like, really, really fun." ®

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

More from The Register

next story
Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)
Over £200 worth of the good stuff up for grabs
Facebook's Zuckerberg in EBOLA VIRUS FIGHT: Billionaire battles bug
US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention contacted as site supremo coughs up
Space exploration is just so lame. NEW APPS are mankind's future
We feel obliged to point out the headline statement is total, utter cobblers
Red Bull does NOT give you wings, $13.5m lawsuit says so
Website letting consumers claim $10 cash back crashes after stampede
Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy
'Tiffany' closes deal - 'it's more common to offer your wife', says agent
Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
Swiss wildlife park serves up furry residents to visitors
'It's ecological' says spokesman, now how would you like your Bambi done?
The iPAD launch BEFORE it happened: SPECULATIVE GUFF ahead of actual event
Nerve-shattering run-up to the pre-planned known event
STONER SHEEP get the MUNCHIES after feasting on £4k worth of cannabis plants
Baaaaaa! Fanny's Farm's woolly flock is high, maaaaaan
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Win a year’s supply of chocolate
There is no techie angle to this competition so we're not going to pretend there is, but everyone loves chocolate so who cares.
Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Saudi Petroleum chooses Tegile storage solution
A storage solution that addresses company growth and performance for business-critical applications of caseware archive and search along with other key operational systems.