Feeds

Perv Oz burglar pumps and dumps Jungle Jane

Cairns cops hunt inflatable doll shagger

Next gen security for virtualised datacentres

Cairns police are hunting a light-fingered pervert who has twice broken into a sex shop and taken inflatable dolls for a quick shag out the back before abandoning his conquests in a nearby lane, the Cairns Post reports.

The owner of Laneway Adult Shop, who identified himself only as "Vogue", explained that in the first recent break-in, facilitated by smashing a hole through the wall of the shop, the perp had stolen five "Jungle Jane" dolls and had sex with one of them. Poor old "Jungle Jane" was again the subject of his illicit attentions when he revisted the premises, but a third attempt to get his end away was earlier this week thwarted when a newly-installed alarm system cut short his visit.

The shop's owner said: “He has been taking the dolls out the back and blowing them up and using the dolls and leaving them in the alley. It is totally bizarre. It is a real concern that someone like that is out on the street.”

The thief has also apparently targeted the nearby Sapphire Bar, which "has a rear entry in the same lane as the adult shop", as the Cairns Post unfortunately puts it. The bar has suffered "two thefts from the till" and on Sunday night was again visited when the burglar "smashed a hole near the top of the roof line" and "clambered 15m down a sheer wall", as owner David Sharman explained.

He added: "He [only] took the surveillance recorders - we found them in the bin."

Fleeting video images of the crim show "a tall, skinny Caucasian". Police, though, have rather more substantial evidence which could lead to a cuffing, in the form of "DNA on a doll" and "possible fingerprints on its face".

The Cairns Post has shock snaps of the crime scene - including a rather deflated post-coital Jungle Jane - right here. ®

Next gen security for virtualised datacentres

More from The Register

next story
MEN WANTED to satisfy town full of yearning BRAZILIAN HOTNESS
'Prettier, better organised, more harmonious than if men were in charge'
Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD
'Officers were unable to determine Chicken's intent'
Yes, but what are your plans if a DRAGON attacks?
Local UK gov outs most ridiculous FoI requests...
Drunkards warned: If you can't walk in a straight line, don't shop online, you fool!
Put it away boys. Cover them up ladies. Your credit cards, we mean
Why your mum was WRONG about whiffy tattooed people
They're a future source of RENEWABLE ENERGY
Murder accused DIDN'T ask Siri 'how to hide my roommate'
US court hears of cached browser image - not actual request
Chomp that sausage: Brits just LOVE scoffing a Full Monty
Sales of traditional brekkie foods soar as hungry folk get their mitts greasy
prev story

Whitepapers

Endpoint data privacy in the cloud is easier than you think
Innovations in encryption and storage resolve issues of data privacy and key requirements for companies to look for in a solution.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Advanced data protection for your virtualized environments
Find a natural fit for optimizing protection for the often resource-constrained data protection process found in virtual environments.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.
Next gen security for virtualised datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.