Feeds

Perv Oz burglar pumps and dumps Jungle Jane

Cairns cops hunt inflatable doll shagger

Security for virtualized datacentres

Cairns police are hunting a light-fingered pervert who has twice broken into a sex shop and taken inflatable dolls for a quick shag out the back before abandoning his conquests in a nearby lane, the Cairns Post reports.

The owner of Laneway Adult Shop, who identified himself only as "Vogue", explained that in the first recent break-in, facilitated by smashing a hole through the wall of the shop, the perp had stolen five "Jungle Jane" dolls and had sex with one of them. Poor old "Jungle Jane" was again the subject of his illicit attentions when he revisted the premises, but a third attempt to get his end away was earlier this week thwarted when a newly-installed alarm system cut short his visit.

The shop's owner said: “He has been taking the dolls out the back and blowing them up and using the dolls and leaving them in the alley. It is totally bizarre. It is a real concern that someone like that is out on the street.”

The thief has also apparently targeted the nearby Sapphire Bar, which "has a rear entry in the same lane as the adult shop", as the Cairns Post unfortunately puts it. The bar has suffered "two thefts from the till" and on Sunday night was again visited when the burglar "smashed a hole near the top of the roof line" and "clambered 15m down a sheer wall", as owner David Sharman explained.

He added: "He [only] took the surveillance recorders - we found them in the bin."

Fleeting video images of the crim show "a tall, skinny Caucasian". Police, though, have rather more substantial evidence which could lead to a cuffing, in the form of "DNA on a doll" and "possible fingerprints on its face".

The Cairns Post has shock snaps of the crime scene - including a rather deflated post-coital Jungle Jane - right here. ®

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk

More from The Register

next story
Are you a fat boy? Get to university NOW, you PENNILESS SLACKER
Rotund types paid nearly 20% less than people who didn't eat all the pies
Emma Watson should SHUT UP, all this abuse is HER OWN FAULT
... said an anon coward who we really wish hadn't posted on our website
Japan develops robot CHEERLEADERS which RIDE on BALLS
'Will put smiles on faces worldwide', predicts corporate PR chief
Bruges Booze tubes to pump LOVELY BEER underneath city
Belgian booze pumped from underground
Oz carrier Tiger Air takes terror alerts to new heights
Don't doodle, it might cost you your flight
Amazon: Wish in one hand, Twit in the other – see which one fills first
#AmazonWishList A year's supply of Arran scotch, ta
Let it go, Steve: Ballmer bans iPads from his LA Clippers b-ball team
Can you imagine the scene? 'Hey guys, it's your new owner – WTF is that on your desk?'
Oi, London thief. We KNOW what you're doing - our PRECRIME system warned us
Aye, shipmate, it be just like that Minority Report
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Storage capacity and performance optimization at Mizuno USA
Mizuno USA turn to Tegile storage technology to solve both their SAN and backup issues.
The next step in data security
With recent increased privacy concerns and computers becoming more powerful, the chance of hackers being able to crack smaller-sized RSA keys increases.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.