Feeds

Speeding Oz teen may face 'gorillas in the mist'

You won't enjoy the prison showers, magistrate warns

Next gen security for virtualised datacentres

An Oz magistrate has informed a habitual speeding teenager that if he doesn't mend his high-speed ways he'll be sent directly to jail where showering sexual predators will make short work of his sorry arse.

According to Reuters, Brian Maloney of Sydney's Downing Center Court on Monday issued the blunt warning to an unnamed 19-year-old up before the beak for the third time for motoring offences - this time adding "driving without a license, failing to stop at a police alcohol check point and driving dangerously" to his list of automotive credentials.

Maloney banned the ne'er-do-well from driving until 2013, placed him on a one-year good behaviour bond and slapped him with 150 hours of community service - warning that a breach of any of these would result in some hard time.

Specifically, Maloney explained that the perp would "shower with the gorillas in the mist down at Long Bay jail". He elaborated: "You'll find big, ugly, hairy strong men who've got faces only a mother could love that will pay a lot of attention to you - and your anatomy."

While some might think that threatening a whippersnapper with Long Bay gorillas is a mite excessive, Sydney's Daily Telegraph on Tuesday backed Maloney's stance, describing his comments as "a vision in clarity".

In an issue which carried the front page headline "Out of control" - above a story on "four teenagers either booked for street racing, speeding, driving without a license or crashing their car and killing a passenger" - the paper's editorial declared: "We can only hope this strategy helps. Hope it ends the slaughter of young innocents on the roads through stupidity. Road safety has become a war zone and any tactics are permissible."

The problem is, however, not restricted to tearaway youth. Police in the state of Victoria have impounded 42 speeding drivers' vehicles over the last six days - one belonging to a 78-year-old Melbourne resident clocked at 170 km/h (105 mph) on New Year's Day.

Since the septuagenarian speed merchant was at the time subject to a 100 km/h limit, Acting Police Sergeant Carlo Visser lamented to the city's Herald-Sun: "It is disappointing to see a senior member of our community being so irresponsible." ®

Next gen security for virtualised datacentres

More from The Register

next story
MEN WANTED to satisfy town full of yearning BRAZILIAN HOTNESS
'Prettier, better organised, more harmonious than if men were in charge'
Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD
'Officers were unable to determine Chicken's intent'
Yes, but what are your plans if a DRAGON attacks?
Local UK gov outs most ridiculous FoI requests...
Drunkards warned: If you can't walk in a straight line, don't shop online, you fool!
Put it away boys. Cover them up ladies. Your credit cards, we mean
Why your mum was WRONG about whiffy tattooed people
They're a future source of RENEWABLE ENERGY
Murder accused DIDN'T ask Siri 'how to hide my roommate'
US court hears of cached browser image - not actual request
Chomp that sausage: Brits just LOVE scoffing a Full Monty
Sales of traditional brekkie foods soar as hungry folk get their mitts greasy
prev story

Whitepapers

Endpoint data privacy in the cloud is easier than you think
Innovations in encryption and storage resolve issues of data privacy and key requirements for companies to look for in a solution.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Advanced data protection for your virtualized environments
Find a natural fit for optimizing protection for the often resource-constrained data protection process found in virtual environments.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.
Next gen security for virtualised datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.