Speeding Oz teen may face 'gorillas in the mist'
You won't enjoy the prison showers, magistrate warns
An Oz magistrate has informed a habitual speeding teenager that if he doesn't mend his high-speed ways he'll be sent directly to jail where showering sexual predators will make short work of his sorry arse.
According to Reuters, Brian Maloney of Sydney's Downing Center Court on Monday issued the blunt warning to an unnamed 19-year-old up before the beak for the third time for motoring offences - this time adding "driving without a license, failing to stop at a police alcohol check point and driving dangerously" to his list of automotive credentials.
Maloney banned the ne'er-do-well from driving until 2013, placed him on a one-year good behaviour bond and slapped him with 150 hours of community service - warning that a breach of any of these would result in some hard time.
Specifically, Maloney explained that the perp would "shower with the gorillas in the mist down at Long Bay jail". He elaborated: "You'll find big, ugly, hairy strong men who've got faces only a mother could love that will pay a lot of attention to you - and your anatomy."
While some might think that threatening a whippersnapper with Long Bay gorillas is a mite excessive, Sydney's Daily Telegraph on Tuesday backed Maloney's stance, describing his comments as "a vision in clarity".
In an issue which carried the front page headline "Out of control" - above a story on "four teenagers either booked for street racing, speeding, driving without a license or crashing their car and killing a passenger" - the paper's editorial declared: "We can only hope this strategy helps. Hope it ends the slaughter of young innocents on the roads through stupidity. Road safety has become a war zone and any tactics are permissible."
The problem is, however, not restricted to tearaway youth. Police in the state of Victoria have impounded 42 speeding drivers' vehicles over the last six days - one belonging to a 78-year-old Melbourne resident clocked at 170 km/h (105 mph) on New Year's Day.
Since the septuagenarian speed merchant was at the time subject to a 100 km/h limit, Acting Police Sergeant Carlo Visser lamented to the city's Herald-Sun: "It is disappointing to see a senior member of our community being so irresponsible." ®