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German beaver escapes from Dartmoor

Bucktoothed Boche bole-botherer bustout brouhaha

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A German beaver being held prisoner behind an electric fence on Dartmoor has escaped, according to reports. The furry trunk-muncher is now carving a swathe of destruction through Cornwall, mowing down mighty trees like corn to satisfy its animal lusts.

The Guardian reports that the bucktoothed Boche bole-botherer busted out of confinement at the Upcott Grange centre in Devon, along with two female (beaver) accomplices, after rising water levels shortcircuited their compound's electric fence. The two females didn't get far and were swiftly recaptured, but the nameless alpha beaver made good his escape across the border into Cornwall. He is now thought to have established a cushy life on a Cornish riverbank, toppling poplar and willow trees like ninepins for sport and nourishment.

According to Derek Gow, beaver expert and head of the Upcott Grange compound: "It's ideal beaver country he's found himself in".

Gow intends to recapture the tree-scoffing scofflaw, but only in order to release him into the wilds in Scotland. The beavers were only being held on Dartmoor for quarantine purposes, before being sent north in an effort to re-establish a native British population.

It seems that once upon a time there was beaver as far as the eye could see here in old Blighty, but they were eaten into extinction by our hungry ancestors. ®

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