Feeds

Indulge your fecal fantasies with a doll that craps

"Uh-oh - I made a stinky!"

Build a business case: developing custom apps

Technology has brought many transcendent benefits to our culture, but possibly none have been as consummate in its exquisite magnificence as this holiday season's nonpareil of elegance, Baby Alive Learns to Potty, a child's doll that craps.

Surely this darling $60 dumper is the apotheosis of a dream first dreamed by Charles Babbage as he painstakingly constructed his pioneering Difference Engine in the 1830s. "Today a machine can calculate," he may have dared imagine, "Tomorrow it may think. And some day - we can only hope! - mankind will create a machine that can poop!"

And so it has.

Baby Alive Learns to Potty

The poop-generating scion of technology wedded to scatology

Available in Caucasian, African-American, and Hispanic flavors, Baby Alive Learns to Potty accomplishes her anthropomorphic post-alimentarian wonders after being fed "special food," which then traverses through her techno-tummy until it emerges - mirabile dictu! - exactly where you might imagine it would emerge.

Even more wondrous, as her creative creators breezily relate, "Since she’s 'potty training', she’ll also let you know when she needs to go. Better hurry, though! Put her on the potty and she’ll 'pee' and 'poop'. But if you don’t get there in time, you might hear her say, 'Oops. I had an accident!'"

At which point her diapers will need changing. Replacement six-packs are available for $4.99 - a tiny admission fee for the privilege of participating in such a momentous moment in microprocessor-enabled evolution.

And the itty-bitty shitty one speaks with such sagacity! Such eloquence! Perhaps, if you're fortunate, you may hear her utter her most heart-rending commentary on life's challenges: "Uh-oh - I made a stinky!"

Truly, haven't we all felt that way at times? ®

Boost IT visibility and business value

More from The Register

next story
Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD
'Officers were unable to determine Chicken's intent'
Yes, but what are your plans if a DRAGON attacks?
Local UK gov outs most ridiculous FoI requests...
Drunkards warned: If you can't walk in a straight line, don't shop online, you fool!
Put it away boys. Cover them up ladies. Your credit cards, we mean
Murder accused DIDN'T ask Siri 'how to hide my roommate'
US court hears of cached browser image - not actual request
Why your mum was WRONG about whiffy tattooed people
They're a future source of RENEWABLE ENERGY
Chomp that sausage: Brits just LOVE scoffing a Full Monty
Sales of traditional brekkie foods soar as hungry folk get their mitts greasy
Nuts to your poncey hipster coffees, I want a TESLA ELECTRO-CAFE
Examining the frothy disconnect in indie cafe culture
Ex-Apple man Sam Sung - for it is he - sticks namebadge on eBay
Stump up via tat bazaar, do a good thing for ill kids
Check your Clungene, Irish women warned
Have a quick shufti, you may not be pregnant after all
prev story

Whitepapers

Endpoint data privacy in the cloud is easier than you think
Innovations in encryption and storage resolve issues of data privacy and key requirements for companies to look for in a solution.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Top 8 considerations to enable and simplify mobility
In this whitepaper learn how to successfully add mobile capabilities simply and cost effectively.
Solving today's distributed Big Data backup challenges
Enable IT efficiency and allow a firm to access and reuse corporate information for competitive advantage, ultimately changing business outcomes.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.