Jaw droppers of 2008 - what they'd rather you forgot
From Del-Boy to Ellison's package
Optimism drives the IT industry and - in particular - Silicon Valley, a place where people look to the future and try to forget the painful past.
Here, then, is The Register's list of the worst, most cringe-worthy and jaw-dropping moments from the last 12 months that people would probably prefer to forget about. Nine wags of the finger plus - because it wasn't all bad this year - one tip of the hat, for balance.
Social network attacks own customers
Customer service has yet to hit Web 2.0, where you have to answer your own technical questions, wading through forums or sending emails to people in "support" who never reply. "Maverick" social networking site Faceparty went a step further, though, by rounding on users who dared to expect it deliver on its promises - in this case, free tools. Faceparty threatened to terminate accounts of "every single twat who moaned about their friggin' free cool tools". "Listen this is our HOBBY, not our business," Faceparty said, helpfully reminding everyone it's a "free fucking site" and not to expect anything.
The Web 2.0 cheerleader who turned on the mob
Last year, Facebook chief executive Mark Zuckerberg earned contempt. This year, it was contempt-by-association for author and former BusinessWeek hack Sarah Lacy during a Q&A with Zuckerberg at the South by Southwest (SXSW) festival that saw Lacy bomb, overstate her own importance, and turn on the audience. Lacy set a new low in the staged Q&A format with a series of soft-ball questions to promote Brand Lacy, and that had Zuckerberg blushing and the SXSW audience shouting their own questions. First Lacy got defensive, shooting back on Twitter: "Seriously screw all you guys. I did my best to ask a range of things". Then she turned to self-pity: "Try doing what I do for a living... It's not that easy" followed by regained confidence that it wasn't really her, it was everyone else who was wrong. "I get this constantly: guess what I'm still employed.. my Amazon rank is higher than ever.. it's the price of being high profile."
Microsoft blames Apple for Windows Vista "lies"
After a year and a half of negative publicity Microsoft decided it was time to mount the great Windows Vista fight back. Brad Brooks, corporate vice president of Windows consumer products, bullishly evangelized partners at Microsoft's Worldwide Partner Conference saying there's nothing wrong with Windows Vista and everything bad you've heard is a lie propagated by Apple. Evoking the tear-jerking story of his daughter to just tell the truth, Brooks told partners evil little Apple had pulled a Jedi mind trick on the whole industry and customers by convincing them to buy and support Macs when, overwhelmingly, they were actually sticking with Windows XP. Four months later, the truth came out and Microsoft admitted that - yes - there'd been real issues with Windows Vista, problems it is fixing in the successor Windows 7. It was the classic Microsoft tactic of throwing the older version under the bus to evangelize the new.
Yahoo!'s Yang regrets his Microsoft rejection
The problem with opportunity is you need to recognize the knocking sound it makes on your door. Yahoo!'s chief executive Jerry Yang didn't, and turned down Microsoft's generous offer for his company of $33 a share in June. Pity Jerry, then, that the market tanked three months later pulling down Yahoo!'s share price to less than half what Microsoft chief executive Steve Ballmer had offered. Yang isn't the only man that history will record should have zigged when he zagged when making a tough decision, and he won't be the last. Rather than stand by his decision, though, Yang in November made an unconvincing attempt to lure Microsoft back to the table, saying it would be in that company's interests. With the markets crashing, M&A funds drying up, and Ballmer thanking his lucky stars for not going down as the CEO who bought a grossly overpriced dot-com asset, that ship's sailed.
Ellison's package and an "eye-opening" license hike
Oracle's chief executive Larry Ellison notched up a $72m package in 2008, 12 times higher than the median pay of his technology peers. Ellison proposed, and was granted by Oracle, a 38 per cent raise, making him the second best-paid chief executive officer of any U.S. public company. The package came to light as users of BEA Systems brought into the Oracle family through this year's $8.5bn acquisition, were welcomed with a 47 per cent hike in their licensing fees. Eric Savitz, an individual used to the machinations of corporate America reporting for TechTrader Daily, blushingly called this an "eye-opening development".