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Enormous HP box spotted from space

Exclusive pics of Peterborough packaging pandemonium

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Security operatives are also oblivious to a nearby outrage against public decency perpetrated by a woman who believes the box represents a close encounter of the third kind, and is preparing an offering of "man oysters" for her extraterrestrial overlords. Seen here is the traditional local method of harvesting the delicacy, with her boyfriend a willing donor of tribute for the intergalactic visitors:

Local woman orally harvesting man oysters

In a hidden corner of the mammoth box, meanwhile, an unemployed swan-roasting Lithuanian has risked the wrath of the Daily Mail by quickly taking up residence. Our picture shows him enjoying the paper's Xmas TV pop special, entitled Gypsys, Tramps and Thieves, which also features The Indignant Choir of Middle England with its rendition of The Horst Wessel Song and the Metropolitan Police firearms unit and its ever-popular version of the theme from The Boys from Brazil:

Lithuanian squatter makes himself at home inside the box

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