Oz men's mag recovers inflatable jubs
Bulgarian airbags turn up in Melbourne
Readers of Oz chaps' mag Ralph are doubtless beside themselves with joy at the news that they will not, after all, have to suffer Xmas without the benefit of a couple of free inflatable breasts.
Over 130,000 pairs of Bulgarian airbags intended as a giveaway with the magazine's December 15 issue last week went awol en route from Beijing to Sydney. Initial reports suggested they'd gone missing from their shipping container and were presumably drifting the world's oceans in a vast mammary shoal.
However, the Australian now reveals that they have in fact been sitting in a Melbourne dock for a week "after Chinese officials lost the paperwork and put them on the wrong boat", as a Ralph spokeswoman explained.
Relieved Ralph editor Santi Pintado said: "If we'd found them a day later, it'd have been too late to get them on the next issue. You'd think the Chinese economy was in enough trouble without misplacing 130,000 pairs of boobs."
The publication is apparently now expecting to break the Guinness world record for the most breasts given away in one hit - an impressive achievement which will certainly be writ large in the annals of publishing history. ®
"Initial reports suggested they'd gone missing from their shipping container and were presumably drifting the world's oceans in a vast mammary shoal."
That'd be a sight to see if you were out on a boat and a bunch of those "buoyancy aids" floated on past you.
Hell, if it were me I might just go overboard "accidentally" and have no choice but to grab a few "for my own safety".
Yes! Could this be the start of a trend? Let's see those online "news" and "entertainment" sites try to match the feat. Maybe paper media aren't dead after all.
Finally, a ground-breaking paradigm shift in the world of paper-media journalism.
Trust those wily Aussies to show the rest of the world the way forward.