Feeds

BOFH: The Christmas party

Treasure hunting, BOFH-style

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

Episode 39

"...Which leads to the next item - the office Christmas function," the Boss says to the assembled masses of the IT department.

"The office function or the building function?" one of the helldesk geeks asks.

"Just the office," the Boss says. "The director and I have been talking and he's keen that we all do something together as a team building and morale boosting exercise."

"PAINTBALL!" the PFY cries excitedly.

"Uh, no, I think I'd like to do something else," another of the helldesk geeks sniffs, knowing all too well the harsh sting of the PFY's paintballs, stored - as they tend to be - in the PFY's freezer overnight.

"Yeah, no, I think we want something that's aimed to unite us rather than divide us," the Boss concurs. "Something which we can look back on in a few years and smile at"

"Yes, PAINTBALL!" I shout.

Were one blessed with the power of ESP at this point I'm fairly sure the PFY's thoughts would be something like a cross between an Arnie movie and Platoon - complete with Rolling Stones soundtrack - judging by the dreamy expression on his face.

"I think we'll skip the paintball idea," the Director interjects. "How about we do something that everyone would find fun?"

"But everyone loves paintball," the PFY says, apparently oblivious to the fact that half the IT staff have regressed into a semi-vegetative state at memories of past paintball encounters with him.

"Like I say, something everyone will find fun" the Director snaps.

"What about abseiling?" the Boss suggests.

"Uh, well, we're really looking for an activity we can do in the building - so everyone can be involved but we're still close at hand in case there's any systems upsets."

"We could abseil off the building," the PFY suggests.

Judging by their expressions alone the thought of the PFY standing above them - possibly holding a 19" CRT monitor - as they clamber down five stories hasn't struck a chord with the assembled IT staff.

"No, too dangerous," the Director says. "And not something that everyone can get involved in all at once."

"What about..." the Boss' PA starts.

"Yes?"

"Well some friends of mine did a 'great race' thing at their work. They all got into teams of four and had to complete various challenges to find the treasures hidden in the building."

"Hmm, interesting - show of hands?" the Boss says.

. . . One all-but-unanimous vote later . . .

"So it's decided then, we'll set up a 'race' on Friday afternoon for various treasures hidden around the building, ending up back here at 4pm for nibbles and drinks!" the Boss burbles.

. . . Friday, 7am, in a mostly darkened building . . .

"Treasure number one, back of the fire hose reel, northern stairwell, second floor" the PFY says to me, not looking up from his view of the Boss and Director on the CCTV monitor.

"Got it," I say, scratching away furiously on a piece of paper.

"Treasure two, inside the pot plant, second floor foyer.”

. . .

"Treasure 22, inside the CD storage bin on the Boss' PA's desk," the PFY says finally.

"Don't you feel a little... bad, cheating like this?" I ask him.

"What, you mean after none of the staff wanted be on a team with us?" the PFY asks.

"No, me neither," I chuckle.

. . . That afternoon, one early treasure-gathering mission later . . .

"Righto, off you go!" the Boss cries, handing out the clue envelopes to us all.

. . . Five minutes later, in Mission Control . . .

"How's it going?" I ask the PFY, leaning back to check out his monitor.

"One team's just found treasure one gone," he replies.

. . . Two hours later . . .

"Treasure 19, found to be gone."

. . . Ten minutes later . . .

"And that's treasure 22 not found," the PFY says. "Show time!"

. . . Five minutes later . . .

"Well," the PFY blusters from his pile of treasure, in response to the incredulous questions from the staff. "It was pretty simple really - the clues led us straight to everything."

"But there were four separate treasure paths!" the Boss gasps.

"And there were two key problem-solving people on our team," the PFY says. "We were bound to think outside the box and discover the other paths."

"Well, er, congratulations," the Director mumbles, not wanting to be a bad sport about it and ruin the Christmas morale.

"But to show we're fair and that Christmas parties should be fun for everyone," the PFY adds. "We've decided that everyone should choose a present from the pile."

"I... well, that's very generous of you!" the Boss says, as people make grabs at the treasure pile.

"Not at all!" the PFY replies. "Christmas should be fun for everyone. And with that in mind..."

The PFY's sentence is interrupted by the sound of the doors locking and the lighting controller clicking to 'off.'

"Paintball," the PFY continues, handing what feels like a holster and some night vision goggles to me in the dark...

>pop< ... >pop<>pop<>pop< ... >pop<>pop<

Now THIS is a Christmas party!

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

More from The Register

next story
The cloud that goes puff: Seagate Central home NAS woes
4TB of home storage is great, until you wake up to a dead device
Azure TITSUP caused by INFINITE LOOP
Fat fingered geo-block kept Aussies in the dark
You think the CLOUD's insecure? It's BETTER than UK.GOV's DATA CENTRES
We don't even know where some of them ARE – Maude
Intel offers ingenious piece of 10TB 3D NAND chippery
The race for next generation flash capacity now on
Want to STUFF Facebook with blatant ADVERTISING? Fine! But you must PAY
Pony up or push off, Zuck tells social marketeers
Oi, Europe! Tell US feds to GTFO of our servers, say Microsoft and pals
By writing a really angry letter about how it's harming our cloud business, ta
Astro-boffins start opening universe simulation data
Got a supercomputer? Want to simulate a universe? Here you go
prev story

Whitepapers

Why and how to choose the right cloud vendor
The benefits of cloud-based storage in your processes. Eliminate onsite, disk-based backup and archiving in favor of cloud-based data protection.
Getting started with customer-focused identity management
Learn why identity is a fundamental requirement to digital growth, and how without it there is no way to identify and engage customers in a meaningful way.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
The hidden costs of self-signed SSL certificates
Exploring the true TCO for self-signed SSL certificates, including a side-by-side comparison of a self-signed architecture versus working with a third-party SSL vendor.
Intelligent flash storage arrays
Tegile Intelligent Storage Arrays with IntelliFlash helps IT boost storage utilization and effciency while delivering unmatched storage savings and performance.