The Register® — Biting the hand that feeds IT

Comments on: Zoo's polar bear breeding plan scuppered by girl-on-girl

MMMM 

Posted Thursday 27th November 2008 13:52 GMT

Joke

Girl on girl bear(bare) action anyone?

Fail 

Posted Thursday 27th November 2008 13:59 GMT

Coat

'nuff said

The IT Angle 

Posted Thursday 27th November 2008 14:42 GMT

IT Angle

> "their long hair makes it difficult to distinguish, especially when the bears are young".

Ah, like IT workers then.

Sexing polar bears. 

Posted Thursday 27th November 2008 14:46 GMT

Coat

I guess that the reason that determining the sex of polar bears is tricky proves something.

If you're an umpteen hundred pound Ursine with huge claws, a nasty set of teeth and a vicious temper, you don't need to have a massive dick to stop people laughing at you.

Dump 

Posted Thursday 27th November 2008 14:55 GMT

Hot water on her, that usually turns people into males in Japan.

@Ralph B; re: The IT Angle 

Posted Thursday 27th November 2008 14:58 GMT

Coat

It's very easy to identify a female IT worker - she's usually surrounded by 256 desperate male IT workers...

The one with the copy of "How to pick up girls by hypnosis" in the pocket, please.

Time to read the T&Cs 

Posted Thursday 27th November 2008 15:08 GMT

IT Angle

Did the purchase order not say 'Little Boy Bear'?

@Ralph B 

Posted Thursday 27th November 2008 15:12 GMT

IT Angle

You owe my client a new monitor, there's coffee all over this one ;-)

>> "their long hair makes it difficult to distinguish, especially when the bears are young".

>Ah, like IT workers then.

Yeah, but it's safe to let the bears breed.

Hung like a bear? 

Posted Thursday 27th November 2008 15:22 GMT

Linux

Not!

One wonders if Penguins have the same adrogeneity.

"The zoo is now planning to chat to other local zoos" 

Posted Thursday 27th November 2008 15:27 GMT

And what if their zootards can't tell the difference either?

zootards... 

Posted Thursday 27th November 2008 15:50 GMT

Another *tard for the dictionary, I see.

NSFW - or those of a sensitive disposition 

Posted Thursday 27th November 2008 15:52 GMT

Some years ago, I worked for a firm involved in the meat trade. On one occasion, i saw one of the onsite vets with a device that looked like a see through stirrup pump. In my innocence, I asked what it was for - it appeared that she worked as a semen collector for the Best Beef scheme. It appears that she was very popular with the farmers as she "had a gentle touch, that allowed her to collect more from the animals" (possibly she was popular with the bulls as well!).

Perhaps the zoo should consider a similar approach?

@ anonymous john 

Posted Thursday 27th November 2008 16:17 GMT

They could post their wee video on utube and ask for "bear, same colour, different posture"

Ah-so... 

Posted Thursday 27th November 2008 16:30 GMT

Stop

......D'oh!

There's got to be a joke... 

Posted Thursday 27th November 2008 16:37 GMT

Coat

... about bears and woods here somewhere...

Hooray for competence 

Posted Thursday 27th November 2008 18:23 GMT

Thumb Up

Fail sums it up quite nicely. One would think that these bears get examined "on delivery" when you can still discreetly pull a "manual" on them without having your face eaten off. One has to keep in mind the Japan-factor though. Maybe it is a a magical bear that can do some nifty gender-bending transformation accompanied by swirls of stars? You just have to find the right villain to face it with.

Stunning. 

Posted Thursday 27th November 2008 21:00 GMT

Apparently global warming is now a cause of ursine lesbianism.

Two backs? 

Posted Thursday 27th November 2008 21:06 GMT

"the male brought in to make the beast with two backs"

erm, with such a view on the technicalities of sex, you must be an IT worker...

One the other hand... 

Posted Thursday 27th November 2008 23:52 GMT

"Zoo's polar bear breeding plan scuppered by girl-on-girl"

Their polar bear porno film festival fund-raising plan, however, is off to an excellent start!

(insert joke about what's really melting the ice floes here)

I blame the schools! 

Posted Friday 28th November 2008 04:08 GMT

Flame

What are they teaching in sex-ed classes these days! Don't they consider the number of kids who will grow up to become zookeepers! Could also be problematic in the diary industry.

I Blame 

Posted Friday 28th November 2008 08:18 GMT

Paris Hilton

Usenet, if you look hard enough I bet there's a binaries groups dedicated to this sort of thing (or will be shortly)

alt.fan.paris-hilton, you know it makes sense.

don't break up a happy couple! 

Posted Friday 28th November 2008 10:33 GMT

Clearly these two bears have formed a loving relationship, and in Canada and other enlightened countries could even get married. This emphasis on breeding is so old-fashioned! Have the zootards considered that requiring one or both to breed with a male bear would be 'forced sex'? This must stop!!! Say NO to Prop 8, etc!!!!

Bzzz, bzzzz! 

Posted Friday 28th November 2008 10:45 GMT

Joke

"It's very easy to identify a female IT worker - she's usually surrounded by 256 desperate male IT workers..."

What, like a Queen bee surrounded by drones?

@ zootards... 

Posted Friday 28th November 2008 11:57 GMT

Unhappy

I thought I'd invented it, but it gets 255 hits on Google.

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr 

Posted Friday 28th November 2008 14:07 GMT

Linux

If I lived in the arctic I'd certainly want wooly underware to keep my pecker from freezing.

baculae 

Posted Tuesday 2nd December 2008 19:31 GMT

Boffin

Polar bears, like most non-human mammals, have a penis bone (baculum). Surely that would show up on an X-ray?

I dont know about the rest of you but.... 

Posted Wednesday 3rd December 2008 10:46 GMT

Alien

I for one welcome our lesbian polar bear overlords.....

:P

@Martin Owens 

Posted Wednesday 3rd December 2008 20:16 GMT

Happy

O'rly?

I saw what you did there.

Erm, what happens when he / she goes for a swim then?

Don’t Miss