Feeds

A sex show of truly Olympian proportions?

El Reg does Erotica 2008

High performance access to file storage

A sign of things to come - pun not intended – are developments in male masturbatory gadgets. The adult industry has finally worked out that there is a market for assisted self-stimulation that does not involve bicycle pumps and ludicrous inflatable dummies - which were remarkable for their absence from the show. Battle has been joined between the tenga system – essentially, a solid lump of plastic with a hole down the middle – and the Fleshlight – a solid torch-shaped outer tube containing a "soft, pliable Real Feel Super Skin" moulded into the shape of your favourite orifice.

The Fleshlight stand assailed anyone brave enough to visit it with a wall of differently-shaped holes and a seriously motivated demonstrator who squirted passers by with lubricant, before inviting them to "try one". With their fingers, of course.

However, if the £40+ price tag on these systems is off-putting, then the Monkeyspanker – bastard offspring of an egg separator and a table tennis bat with a hole in the middle - was available for around a third of the price.

For those without a heart condition, and who fancy passing a mild electric current through sensitive parts of their anatomy, the joys of electro-stimulation are now on offer. A basic system will set you back around £200.

Meanwhile, body casting is definitely on the up, with various artists immortalising bits of their models in metal or plaster of Paris. More narcissistic readers might be interested in the self-casting kit, which enables anyone impressed by the size or shape of their endowment to make it more widely available to their loved one as dildo, vibrator, or simple willy-shaped chocolate or candle.

Swinging is this year’s growth industry, with swinger clubs offering a choice of locations as banal as Bromley, or as exotic as the South of France and the Bahamas to any couples adventurous enough to try.

Erotica remains an interesting, if slightly soulless event. Although attendance was down on previous years, visitors did seem to be enjoying themselves and there was a good split of age, gender and orientation. This is not the preserve of the "dirty old man", but a grown-up event without too much trace of the embarrassedly British seaside postcard humour.

A sadder note was set by a stand extolling the virtues of Instead – an alternative system for dealing with periods. Our hearts went out to the solitary male attempting to sell this product under the seriously misjudged slogan "Menstruation can be fun".

Much preferable, as slogans go, was the one proudly proclaiming "Proper British Sausage". It belonged to a stall selling hot dogs – and very good they were, too. ®

High performance access to file storage

More from The Register

next story
Spanish village called 'Kill the Jews' mulls rebranding exercise
Not exactly attractive to the Israeli tourist demographic
Forget the beach 'n' boardwalk, check out the Santa Cruz STEVE JOBS FOUNTAIN
Reg reader snaps shot of touching tribute to Apple icon
Oz bank in comedy Heartbleed blog FAIL
Bank: 'We are now safely patched.' Customers: 'You were using OpenSSL?'
Happy 40th Playmobil: Reg looks back at small, rude world of our favourite tiny toys
Little men straddle LOHAN, attend tiny G20 Summit... ah, sweet memories...
Lego is the TOOL OF SATAN, thunders Polish priest
New minifigs like Monster Fighters are turning kids to the dark side
Dark SITH LORD 'Darth Vader' joins battle to rule, er, Ukraine
Only I can 'make an empire out of a republic' intones presidential candidate
Chinese company counters pollution by importing fresh air
Citizens line up for bags of that sweet, sweet mountain air
Google asks April Fools: Want a job? Be our 'Pokemon Master'
Mountain View is prankin' like it's 1999...
prev story

Whitepapers

Top three mobile application threats
Learn about three of the top mobile application security threats facing businesses today and recommendations on how to mitigate the risk.
Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction
Based on their experience using HP ArcSight Enterprise Security Manager for IT security operations, Finansbank moved to HP ArcSight ESM for fraud management.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Five 3D headsets to be won!
We were so impressed by the Durovis Dive headset we’ve asked the company to give some away to Reg readers.
SANS - Survey on application security programs
In this whitepaper learn about the state of application security programs and practices of 488 surveyed respondents, and discover how mature and effective these programs are.