Feeds

Oz driver pulled with todger in pasta sauce jar

Continued to crack one off 'while resisting arrest'

Next gen security for virtualised datacentres

An Oz driver has been fined AU$600 for "offensive behaviour, resisting police and disobeying a police direction" after cracking one off into a pasta sauce jar even as coppers attempted to subdue him with batons and capsicum spray following a "slow-speed" car chase through Newcastle, New South Wales.

The drama began when officers spotted Keith Roy Weatherley, 46, "parked in a no-stopping zone near Nobby's Beach on October 26". According to the Newcastle Herald, they thought he "might have a weapon"* since he was "doing something with his hands in his lap".

He was in fact "partially clothed with his genitals in a jar", a police report explained. The perp made a dash for it, was pulled, refused to exit the vehicle and four officers were obliged to persuade him from his car.

The law enforcement operatives identified "a 750mm** jar around his penis" and said Weatherley gamely insisted on continuing to pleasure himself "between bouts of wrestling".

A search of Weatherley's motor uncovered "pornography, a homemade sex aid, women's stockings and a Jack Russell terrier".

He pleaded guilty to the aforementioned raft of charges yesterday at Newcastle Local Court. The role of the Jack Russell in the incident is not noted. ®

Bootnote

*Well, he did, didn't he? Oh yes - thanks to Ross McCabe for the tip-off.

**That's what the report says. Should be 750ml, according to our Oz pasta sauce jar expert Andy Harrison.

The essential guide to IT transformation

More from The Register

next story
MEN WANTED to satisfy town full of yearning BRAZILIAN HOTNESS
'Prettier, better organised, more harmonious than if men were in charge'
Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD
'Officers were unable to determine Chicken's intent'
Yes, but what are your plans if a DRAGON attacks?
Local UK gov outs most ridiculous FoI requests...
Drunkards warned: If you can't walk in a straight line, don't shop online, you fool!
Put it away boys. Cover them up ladies. Your credit cards, we mean
Why your mum was WRONG about whiffy tattooed people
They're a future source of RENEWABLE ENERGY
Murder accused DIDN'T ask Siri 'how to hide my roommate'
US court hears of cached browser image - not actual request
Chomp that sausage: Brits just LOVE scoffing a Full Monty
Sales of traditional brekkie foods soar as hungry folk get their mitts greasy
prev story

Whitepapers

5 things you didn’t know about cloud backup
IT departments are embracing cloud backup, but there’s a lot you need to know before choosing a service provider. Learn all the critical things you need to know.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Backing up Big Data
Solving backup challenges and “protect everything from everywhere,” as we move into the era of big data management and the adoption of BYOD.
Consolidation: The Foundation for IT Business Transformation
In this whitepaper learn how effective consolidation of IT and business resources can enable multiple, meaningful business benefits.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?