Oz driver pulled with todger in pasta sauce jar
Continued to crack one off 'while resisting arrest'
An Oz driver has been fined AU$600 for "offensive behaviour, resisting police and disobeying a police direction" after cracking one off into a pasta sauce jar even as coppers attempted to subdue him with batons and capsicum spray following a "slow-speed" car chase through Newcastle, New South Wales.
The drama began when officers spotted Keith Roy Weatherley, 46, "parked in a no-stopping zone near Nobby's Beach on October 26". According to the Newcastle Herald, they thought he "might have a weapon"* since he was "doing something with his hands in his lap".
He was in fact "partially clothed with his genitals in a jar", a police report explained. The perp made a dash for it, was pulled, refused to exit the vehicle and four officers were obliged to persuade him from his car.
The law enforcement operatives identified "a 750mm** jar around his penis" and said Weatherley gamely insisted on continuing to pleasure himself "between bouts of wrestling".
A search of Weatherley's motor uncovered "pornography, a homemade sex aid, women's stockings and a Jack Russell terrier".
He pleaded guilty to the aforementioned raft of charges yesterday at Newcastle Local Court. The role of the Jack Russell in the incident is not noted. ®
*Well, he did, didn't he? Oh yes - thanks to Ross McCabe for the tip-off.
**That's what the report says. Should be 750ml, according to our Oz pasta sauce jar expert Andy Harrison.