Feeds

Tory MP smacks Labour about the balls

Thinking of England at every stroke

High performance access to file storage

A Tory MP from Surrey has exposed Labour's efforts to curry favour with international businessmen by showering them with branded premium golf balls.

Humfrey Malins, MP for Woking, the quotidian neighbour to Surrey county town Guildford, uncovered the balls for businessmen scandal after venturing into the rough on a recent round of golf.

While beating about the bush, he discovered a golf ball emblazoned with the logo of UK Trade and Investment, the government department which encourages businesses to invest in Britain.

An outraged Malins raised a question in the house about what he suspected was a shocking waste of money, demanding to know "how much UK Trade and Investment spent on branded golf balls in the last three years."

The answers are in, and it seems that over the last three years, UK Trade and Investment has frittered away £12,000 over the last three years on the balls.

A quick sweep of the web suggests generic unbranded Titleist golf balls (UKT&I's preferred brand) cost around £6 per dozen. Assuming the bulk discount was cancelled out by the cost of having the logo slapped on it, this suggests the gov has 24,000 golf balls rolling around the planet touting the joys of investing in Britain.

This doesn't leave Malins any the less tee-d off, with the Woking whacker suggesting the government's £4,000 a year on golf balls is "quite ridiculous".

Others might say £4,000 a year is a small price to pay to attract foreign investment into a well off the boil UK economy, though it would perhaps have been more politic to choose British made golfballs.

MPs have a history of finding a hobby horse and proceeding to flog it to death. So, over the coming months we can expect golfing umbrellas, pens, mouse mats, rugby stress balls, paper pads. Oh, and those pesky tax breaks for foreign businesses setting up factories in the UK.

Let's hope it doesn't distract Humfrey from voting strongly against ID cards.®

Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction

More from The Register

next story
Putin tells Snowden: Russia conducts no US-style mass surveillance
Gov't is too broke for that, Russian prez says
Lavabit loses contempt of court appeal over protecting Snowden, customers
Judges rule complaints about government power are too little, too late
Don't let no-hire pact suit witnesses call Steve Jobs a bullyboy, plead Apple and Google
'Irrelevant' character evidence should be excluded – lawyers
EFF: Feds plan to put 52 MILLION FACES into recognition database
System would identify faces as part of biometrics collection
Edward Snowden on his Putin TV appearance: 'Why all the criticism?'
Denies Q&A cameo was meant to slam US, big-up Russia
Record labels sue Pandora over vintage song royalties
Companies want payout on recordings made before 1972
Ex-Tony Blair adviser is new top boss at UK spy-hive GCHQ
Robert Hannigan to replace Sir Iain Lobban in the autumn
Judge halts spread of zombie Nortel patents to Texas in Google trial
Epic Rockstar patent war to be waged in California
Reprieve for Weev: Court disowns AT&T hacker's conviction
Appeals court strikes down landmark sentence
German space centre endures cyber attack
Chinese code retrieved but NSA hack not ruled out
prev story

Whitepapers

SANS - Survey on application security programs
In this whitepaper learn about the state of application security programs and practices of 488 surveyed respondents, and discover how mature and effective these programs are.
Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction
Based on their experience using HP ArcSight Enterprise Security Manager for IT security operations, Finansbank moved to HP ArcSight ESM for fraud management.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Top three mobile application threats
Learn about three of the top mobile application security threats facing businesses today and recommendations on how to mitigate the risk.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.