Feeds

Tory MP smacks Labour about the balls

Thinking of England at every stroke

High performance access to file storage

A Tory MP from Surrey has exposed Labour's efforts to curry favour with international businessmen by showering them with branded premium golf balls.

Humfrey Malins, MP for Woking, the quotidian neighbour to Surrey county town Guildford, uncovered the balls for businessmen scandal after venturing into the rough on a recent round of golf.

While beating about the bush, he discovered a golf ball emblazoned with the logo of UK Trade and Investment, the government department which encourages businesses to invest in Britain.

An outraged Malins raised a question in the house about what he suspected was a shocking waste of money, demanding to know "how much UK Trade and Investment spent on branded golf balls in the last three years."

The answers are in, and it seems that over the last three years, UK Trade and Investment has frittered away £12,000 over the last three years on the balls.

A quick sweep of the web suggests generic unbranded Titleist golf balls (UKT&I's preferred brand) cost around £6 per dozen. Assuming the bulk discount was cancelled out by the cost of having the logo slapped on it, this suggests the gov has 24,000 golf balls rolling around the planet touting the joys of investing in Britain.

This doesn't leave Malins any the less tee-d off, with the Woking whacker suggesting the government's £4,000 a year on golf balls is "quite ridiculous".

Others might say £4,000 a year is a small price to pay to attract foreign investment into a well off the boil UK economy, though it would perhaps have been more politic to choose British made golfballs.

MPs have a history of finding a hobby horse and proceeding to flog it to death. So, over the coming months we can expect golfing umbrellas, pens, mouse mats, rugby stress balls, paper pads. Oh, and those pesky tax breaks for foreign businesses setting up factories in the UK.

Let's hope it doesn't distract Humfrey from voting strongly against ID cards.®

High performance access to file storage

More from The Register

next story
Android engineer: We DIDN'T copy Apple OR follow Samsung's orders
Veep testifies for Samsung during Apple patent trial
Did a date calculation bug just cost hard-up Co-op Bank £110m?
And just when Brit banking org needs £400m to stay afloat
One year on: diplomatic fail as Chinese APT gangs get back to work
Mandiant says past 12 months shows Beijing won't call off its hackers
MtGox chief Karpelès refuses to come to US for g-men's grilling
Bitcoin baron says he needs another lawyer for FinCEN chat
EFF: Feds plan to put 52 MILLION FACES into recognition database
System would identify faces as part of biometrics collection
Big Content goes after Kim Dotcom
Six studios sling sueballs at dead download destination
Alphadex fires back at British Gas with overcharging allegation
Brit colo outfit says it paid for 347KVA, has been charged for 1940KVA
Jack the RIPA: Blighty cops ignore law, retain innocents' comms data
Prime minister: Nothing to see here, go about your business
Singapore decides 'three strikes' laws are too intrusive
When even a prurient island nation thinks an idea is dodgy it has problems
Banks slap Olympus with £160 MEEELLION lawsuit
Scandal hit camera maker just can't shake off its past
prev story

Whitepapers

Mainstay ROI - Does application security pay?
In this whitepaper learn how you and your enterprise might benefit from better software security.
Five 3D headsets to be won!
We were so impressed by the Durovis Dive headset we’ve asked the company to give some away to Reg readers.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Mobile application security study
Download this report to see the alarming realities regarding the sheer number of applications vulnerable to attack, as well as the most common and easily addressable vulnerability errors.