Feeds

Tory MP smacks Labour about the balls

Thinking of England at every stroke

Securing Web Applications Made Simple and Scalable

A Tory MP from Surrey has exposed Labour's efforts to curry favour with international businessmen by showering them with branded premium golf balls.

Humfrey Malins, MP for Woking, the quotidian neighbour to Surrey county town Guildford, uncovered the balls for businessmen scandal after venturing into the rough on a recent round of golf.

While beating about the bush, he discovered a golf ball emblazoned with the logo of UK Trade and Investment, the government department which encourages businesses to invest in Britain.

An outraged Malins raised a question in the house about what he suspected was a shocking waste of money, demanding to know "how much UK Trade and Investment spent on branded golf balls in the last three years."

The answers are in, and it seems that over the last three years, UK Trade and Investment has frittered away £12,000 over the last three years on the balls.

A quick sweep of the web suggests generic unbranded Titleist golf balls (UKT&I's preferred brand) cost around £6 per dozen. Assuming the bulk discount was cancelled out by the cost of having the logo slapped on it, this suggests the gov has 24,000 golf balls rolling around the planet touting the joys of investing in Britain.

This doesn't leave Malins any the less tee-d off, with the Woking whacker suggesting the government's £4,000 a year on golf balls is "quite ridiculous".

Others might say £4,000 a year is a small price to pay to attract foreign investment into a well off the boil UK economy, though it would perhaps have been more politic to choose British made golfballs.

MPs have a history of finding a hobby horse and proceeding to flog it to death. So, over the coming months we can expect golfing umbrellas, pens, mouse mats, rugby stress balls, paper pads. Oh, and those pesky tax breaks for foreign businesses setting up factories in the UK.

Let's hope it doesn't distract Humfrey from voting strongly against ID cards.®

Application security programs and practises

More from The Register

next story
ONE EMAIL costs mining company $300 MEEELION
Environmental activist walks free after hoax sent share price over a cliff
HP, Microsoft prove it again: Big Business doesn't create jobs
SMEs get lip service - what they need is dinner at the Club
Arrr: Freetard-bothering Digital Economy Act tied up, thrown in the hold
Ministry of Fun confirms: Yes, we're busy doing nothing
Help yourself to anyone's photos FOR FREE, suggests UK.gov
Copyright law reforms will keep m'learned friends busy
Putin: Crack Tor for me and I'll make you a MILLIONAIRE
Russian Interior Ministry offers big pile o' roubles for busting pro-privacy browser
Apple smacked with privacy sueball over Location Services
Class action launched on behalf of 100 million iPhone owners
UK.gov's Open Source switch WON'T get rid of Microsoft, y'know
What do you mean, we've ditched Redmond in favour of IBM?!
EU's top data cops to meet Google, Microsoft et al over 'right to be forgotten'
Plan to hammer out 'coherent' guidelines. Good luck chaps!
prev story

Whitepapers

Top three mobile application threats
Prevent sensitive data leakage over insecure channels or stolen mobile devices.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.
Designing a Defense for Mobile Applications
Learn about the various considerations for defending mobile applications - from the application architecture itself to the myriad testing technologies.
Build a business case: developing custom apps
Learn how to maximize the value of custom applications by accelerating and simplifying their development.