Feeds

Nokia Siemens Networks in 'synergy-related headcount restructuring'

9,000 culled to the sound of whalesong

7 Elements of Radically Simple OS Migration

We're absolutely delighted to announce that Nokia Siemens Networks is in the final stage of its 'synergy-related headcount restructuring' in which a total of 9,000 workers are culled to the sound of whalesong.

Yup, this must rate as one of the greatest euphemisms ever for showing employees the door, and just to demonstrate how keen Nokia Siemens Networks is on the phrase, check out this press release on the matter.

Highlights include: "Nokia Siemens Networks has completed the preliminary planning process to identify the proposed remaining headcount reductions necessary to reach its previously announced synergy-related headcount adjustment goal."

There's more: "To date, the company has achieved an adjustment of more than 6,000 employees and continues to expect a total synergy-related adjustment of approximately 9,000 employees."

Oh go on then, let's have a quote from Simon Beresford-Wylie, chief executive officer of Nokia Siemens Networks: “With the successful completion of these plans, we will have the vast majority of the synergy-related headcount reductions completed and we can then start to put this chapter of our history behind us and focus on creating a world-class company.”

Not had enough synergy? Cue Bosco Novak, head of human resources at Nokia Siemens Networks: “It is our goal to engage constructively with employee representatives in Finland, Germany and other countries to quickly and fairly achieve these needed changes so we are able to remove the ongoing uncertainty that our employees have about synergy-related headcount reductions.”

Enough. We were going to count just how many times the press release uses the word "synergy", but for some reason completely lost the will to live about halfway down. We're off to the pub now, for some synergy-related reduction in the contents of pint glasses full of beer. ®

Bootnote

Thanks to Mike Richards for the tip-off.

Free Webinar: Getting the most from Synergy-related Headcount Restructuring

Boost IT visibility and business value

Whitepapers

7 Elements of Radically Simple OS Migration
Avoid the typical headaches of OS migration during your next project by learning about 7 elements of radically simple OS migration.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Consolidation: The Foundation for IT Business Transformation
In this whitepaper learn how effective consolidation of IT and business resources can enable multiple, meaningful business benefits.
Solving today's distributed Big Data backup challenges
Enable IT efficiency and allow a firm to access and reuse corporate information for competitive advantage, ultimately changing business outcomes.
A new approach to endpoint data protection
What is the best way to ensure comprehensive visibility, management, and control of information on both company-owned and employee-owned devices?