Feeds

Ode to the Phoenix Mars Lander

In your last dying throes/observed that it snows

Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction

ollow the water' they told you,
and rocketed you out there alone.
'You'll comb the terrain,
for snow, ice, or rain,
and we'll grock what you see back at home.'

More than seven-score days since they sent you,
shoveling months in dark, frigid cold.
Yet true to your name,
the Phoenix's flame
burned far longer than NASA foretold.

You dug, sniffed and scooped all around you,
confirmed the presence of ice.
In your last dying throes,
observed that it snows,
(and the photos you sent home were all nice.)

Now the Sun's rays hardly can reach you,
(Winter nights are a bitch at the poles).
The signal's gone dead,
though it's news we all dread,
we'll remember those fine Martian strolls.

Mars' cold, dusky skies all around you,
functions all frozen and ceased.
Though now you're stopped cold,
the data's still gold
and less useless than other Twitter users, at least. ®

Top three mobile application threats

More from The Register

next story
Och aye! It's the Loch Ness Monster – but only Apple fanbois can see it
Fondleslab-friendly beastie's wake spotted... OR WAS IT?
Spanish village called 'Kill the Jews' mulls rebranding exercise
Not exactly attractive to the Israeli tourist demographic
Sleuths find nosy NORKS drones on the Chinternet
UAVs likely to have been made in the Middle Kingdom
Oz bank in comedy Heartbleed blog FAIL
Bank: 'We are now safely patched.' Customers: 'You were using OpenSSL?'
Dorian Nakamoto gets $23,000 payout over Bitcoin invention saga
Maintains he didn't create cryptocurrency, but will join community
Japanese boffin EYES up big bucks with strap-on digi-glasses
AgencyGlass saddles user with creepy OLED display
Forget the beach 'n' boardwalk, check out the Santa Cruz STEVE JOBS FOUNTAIN
Reg reader snaps shot of touching tribute to Apple icon
Happy 40th Playmobil: Reg looks back at small, rude world of our favourite tiny toys
Little men straddle LOHAN, attend tiny G20 Summit... ah, sweet memories...
prev story

Whitepapers

Mobile application security study
Download this report to see the alarming realities regarding the sheer number of applications vulnerable to attack, as well as the most common and easily addressable vulnerability errors.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Securing web applications made simple and scalable
In this whitepaper learn how automated security testing can provide a simple and scalable way to protect your web applications.
Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction
Based on their experience using HP ArcSight Enterprise Security Manager for IT security operations, Finansbank moved to HP ArcSight ESM for fraud management.