The americans doth protest too much! All that anti-gay was just a smokescreen!

Poor old Paris...

A company making buoys recently floated - har har har..

...now I need a new euphemism detector.

The last paragraph or two are 100% Finbar Saunders.

Paris because, she's displayed that she can move freely up and down and has probably caused a lot of mechanical stroking due to video evidence.

Big spider-like machine which can float along on ocean currents, converting up/down motion of its arms into electrical power. Dump them in one side of the ocean, then pick them up at the other with full batteries. Course, it wouldn't take much to militarize the idea and have them turn into war-of-the-worlds-esque fighting machines ready to Destroy All Humans when they run aground at the other end ...

Would these work 'round our coastline?

"squeezing the tube more and more and causing the bulge... to get bigger and bigger"

*giggle*

Ocean currents are a concern when doing stroking buoys. That means thinking about drag, bottom friction, and roughness.

Freud would be proud.

I could comment on the innuendo in the article, but some how I think even Sarah would find the comments to naughty to publish. So I'll just say this, I hear greping the buoy is a favorite pass time of sailors every where. That is all :-).

For best results, read this article with an English accent.

Just read it in English. No accents involved unless you're the one who is not a native English speaker. Or are named after a city in a country that is not known for being populated by native English speakers, such as Paris.

With apologies mes amis, mijn vrienden, mis amigos, i miei amici, 我的朋友