Feeds

Donkeys refuse fodder as US election tension rises

Dreaming of a better life under Obama

Intelligent flash storage arrays

USA '08 It's official: US election fever has finally infected the remote Spanish outpost which houses El Reg's Iberian Bureau.

Here amid the ruined stone buildings nestled between oak-clad mountains, where the silence is broken only by the occasional hack swearing furiously at the broadband connection's daily siesta, local comment on the Day Which Will Change The World Forever™ was until today restricted to the odd old boy wondering just when Sarah Palin might drop in to pop a cap in some poor wild boar's ass from an Apache helicopter gunship.

However, when I this morning braved the unseasonally inclement weather to minister to my trio of donkeys' fodder needs, I found them gathered together under the walnut tree, wistfully looking heavenward and showing not the slightest interest in their daily nosh.

My first instinct was that they'd been at the fly agaric again - a habit they undoubtedly picked up from the endangered Castillian mountain reindeer. Not so, I quickly decided, when I spotted a discarded copy of yesterday's El País outside the stable. Its cover carried a huge picture of Obama the Prophet, and since donkeys are by nature Democrats - a fact acknowledged by the party's symbol - I realised the touching truth.

For donkeys, the difference between McCain and Obama in the White House is the difference between mine-clearing duties in Afghanistan and gamboling forever in sunlit meadows while laughing small children bring forth endless supplies of apples and sugar cubes.

Unsurprisingly, then, my trio of equines are, eight hours later, still holding their vigil of hope despite my best efforts to persuade them that, whatever the outcome of the vote, they will still be pulling cartloads of firewood on Saturday. Like millions of other wretched souls across the planet, they sincerely believe today heralds a new age of enlightenment and emancipation.

The weather forecast, sadly, says Wednesday's weather will be just as crap as today's and a quick review of the donkey feed situation reveals it's hay as usual, barring some Obama-provoked spontaneous winter alfalfa crop miracle. We can only hope. ®

Choosing a cloud hosting partner with confidence

More from The Register

next story
Criticism of Uber's journo-Data Analytics plan is an Attack on DIGITAL FREEDOM
First they came for Emil – and I'm damn well SPEAKING OUT
'It is comforting to know where your data centres are.' UK.GOV does NOT
Plus: Anons are 'wannabes', KKK says, before being pwned
Google's whois results say it's a lousy smut searcher
Run whois google.com or whois microsoft.com. We dare you, you PIG◙◙◙◙ER
Holy vintage vehicles! Earliest known official Batmobile goes on sale
Riddle me this: are you prepared to pay US$180k?
'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?
Plus: Flame of the Week returns, for one night only!
NEWSFLASH: It's time to ditch dullard Facebook chums
Everything hot in tech, courtesy of avian anchor Regina Eggbert
Hey, you, PHONE-FACE! Kickstarter in-car mobe mount will EMBED your phone into your MUG
Stick it on the steering wheel and wait for the airbag to fire
prev story

Whitepapers

Free virtual appliance for wire data analytics
The ExtraHop Discovery Edition is a free virtual appliance will help you to discover the performance of your applications across the network, web, VDI, database, and storage tiers.
Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
How to determine if cloud backup is right for your servers
Two key factors, technical feasibility and TCO economics, that backup and IT operations managers should consider when assessing cloud backup.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Business security measures using SSL
Examines the major types of threats to information security that businesses face today and the techniques for mitigating those threats.