Feeds

Peaches Geldof cops a severe shoeing

Readers nuke Nylon piece from orbit - repeatedly

Security for virtualized datacentres

Peaches Geldof's career as a magazine columnist may the shortest-lived in the history of hackery after her first piece for the website of fashion mag Nylon copped one of the severest shoeings theoretically possible before the sheer intensity of reader anger causes the entire internet to permanently implode.

Peaches recently decamped to New York with hubby Max Drummey, ostensibly to study at uni. Her journalistic debut begins: "The sun glows a burned orange as it sinks behind a skyscraper, a car horn screeches irritably, the wind whistles through the acres of willows in Central Park: New York, the most offbeat and eccentric city in America, is my new home."

Getting that sinking feeling? Try this for size: "My best friend here is a boy named Bunny. We spend our days traipsing around Manhattan—him in skin-tight plaid trousers, huge geek glasses, and a mass of red hair sticking out haphazardly from beneath an Amish-style hat. We buy pizza from street vendors, run through Times Square marvelling at its energy, and source new vintage boutiques."

Well, for her efforts, Peaches immediately attracted hundreds of comments, few of them complimentary and most now pulled by Nylon. One survivor of the editorial hate cull notes: "i think they were right to delete all the nasty, bitter comments that were based on no more than ignorant and irrational prejudige. however, the person who posted the word 'c*nt' 11,000 times made a valid point, one that was based upon sound reasoning and enlighted argument. i see no reason why that should have been censored."

The general consensus appears to be that Peaches should be dispatched back to the mother country asap, possibly in return for Paris Hilton - a girl who'd never be seen dead with a carrot-top sporting an Amish hat. She'd doubtless be welcomed home by "Kerry Katona", who simply asks: "Fancy a drink sometime?"

Amid the outraged comments, though, there is one analysis apparently by none other than AA Gill, which reads: "I have tried to read this article objectively and without bias, trying VERY hard to ignore that I know who wrote it. My first thought was 'Just what is the writer trying to tell us here?' and I don't have an answer.

"The piece meandered from one vague point to another. Half-stories with no focus and no final point. What were you trying to tell us, oh dear writer? Something about New York? Something about America? Something about yourself? The banality is shocking. I almost feel like this is an ironic piece.

"Contrary to what other people have written on here, I DO think you wrote it. Otherwise it is a work of inspired genius. I hope you heed the comments here. Perhaps go away for a while. Stop searching for limelight. Stop living in dreams and see now, now.

"Get some life experience, keep your head down until you do and save us from this insipid, vacuous social commentary that justifies the dislike of you. I read your interview in the Sunday Times. You claim that people give you a hard time because they don't understand you. Well Missy, I think they know you more than you think...."

Hmmm, sound advice, but we prefer these pointers for the powers that be at Nylon: "Deleting all the negative comments? Are you kidding me? Kind of like your letters section, eh? Bullshit. As others have said, unprofessional and lame. Um, just so you know, censorship is SO not trendy. And Nylon's all about trendy, right? Arghh I don't care who's on the cover (even Zooey Deschanel) I'm not buying this drivel anymore.

"Eds, you need to get your heads out of your asses, spend five minutes outside of Williamsburg/Silverlake/wherever the fuck you people hang out and tune into some culture that not full of shit. Peaches Geldof is not culture. No, she's not evil ... but she also doesn't deserve a column in a magazine to write poorly about nothing. Readers demonizing her is kind of inevitable when she demonstrates how to be wealthy, vapid, and out of touch. The entire magazine reeks of bullshit." ®

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

More from The Register

next story
Boffins who stare at goats: I do believe they’re SHRINKING
Alpine chamois being squashed by global warming
Facebook's Zuckerberg in EBOLA VIRUS FIGHT: Billionaire battles bug
US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention contacted as site supremo coughs up
Space exploration is just so lame. NEW APPS are mankind's future
We feel obliged to point out the headline statement is total, utter cobblers
Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy
'Tiffany' closes deal - 'it's more common to offer your wife', says agent
Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
FedEx helps deliver THOUSANDS of spam messages DIRECT to its Blighty customers
Don't worry Wilson, I'll do all the paddling. You just hang on
The iPAD launch BEFORE it happened: SPECULATIVE GUFF ahead of actual event
Nerve-shattering run-up to the pre-planned known event
Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)
Over £200 worth of the good stuff up for grabs
STONER SHEEP get the MUNCHIES after feasting on £4k worth of cannabis plants
Baaaaaa! Fanny's Farm's woolly flock is high, maaaaaan
Adorkable overshare of words like photobomb in this year's dictionaries
And hipsters are finally defined as self-loathing. Sort of
prev story

Whitepapers

Cloud and hybrid-cloud data protection for VMware
Learn how quick and easy it is to configure backups and perform restores for VMware environments.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Three 1TB solid state scorchers up for grabs
Big SSDs can be expensive but think big and think free because you could be the lucky winner of one of three 1TB Samsung SSD 840 EVO drives that we’re giving away worth over £300 apiece.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.