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HP Monsters spew data center ad jargon

Halloween special curls your TPS reports

High performance access to file storage

Hewlett-Packard has somehow devised a Halloween treat even less appealing than a circus peanut.

The PC vendor unveiled today a Halloween-themed video advertising campaign on YouTube featuring a motley crew of monsters pitching HP's data center kit and services. But the truly frightening part is how they speak like corporate management.

Thrill! as a data center werewolf laments he doesn't have technology education training to "upgrade his skills." Oh, if only he understood service management processes, he would have a best practice to follow!

Tremble! as a pack of ghosts moan about the benefits of "effective security governances," and Frankenstein('s monster) suggests rolling out a mission-critical partnership across the data center environment.

If you ever wanted to frighten children away from the tech industry, there's a fine bit of unintentional nightmare-fuel here.

They've also created a HP Monsters page on Facebook — so you can...do whatever Facebook fans do with themselves.

OK, but surely you have a use for a Cafepress "17 unsecured data center ghost clock or virtualized-data-center-gone-wrong baby's bib.

There's certainly nothing wrong about having some Halloween fun, but grinning villains speaking press release jargon comes a bit too close to real terrors of Silcon Valley. ®

High performance access to file storage

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