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Sarko demands withdrawal of voodoo doll

Feels a little prick

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Preposterous presidential playboy Nicolas Sarkozy is not amused by a voodoo doll of himself for sale in French bookshops, and has demanded the pernicious pin-based product is pulled from the shelves, er, post-haste.

The dolls, according to the Times (which displays a lovely picture), are being sold along with a handy set of pins and an amusing guide to slapping a curse on the president. 20,000 are available at the moment. Sarko, who now has time and funds on his hands having solved all of France's social and financial problems and personally given every citizen a biscuit, is threatening to sue the product publishers K&B for unauthorised use of his image.

The stack-heeled statesman has been busily flinging around expensive legal bitchslaps for some time in the name of protecting his image, with the inevitable result that even more mischievous souls feel the urge to rip the proverbial out of the silly man, and the whole idiotic circle of bad pointlessness begins again. One Yaël Rolognese, a "witchcraft specialist" (ie a bloke with a clever idea) is responsible for the latest abomination, which is intended to be satirical (what's the French for "duhhh"?).

Similarly humourless is Sarko's hair-swishingly glamorous one-time opponent Ségolène Royal, who has also been immortalised in voodoo poppet form and is considering legal action too. K&B is having none of it though, and despite the presidential order to get that crap out of circulation sharpish is standing its ground, considering it “totally disproportionate given the humorous aspect of the project and the fact that Nicolas Sarkozy and Ségolène Royal are political, public figures”.

You could pick up your very own Sarko-doll here, but if you feel others are more deserving of your cursing, you could always hex the politician or other hate figure of your choice with this handy voodoo-mail deelie. In other news, a UK publisher has jumped on the bandwagon with a realistic voodoo doll of Peter Mandelson. "We've already sold out in pre-order," enthused a spokesperson. "One buyer seemed keen to get as many as he could, 'just in case'. We're still not sure what he meant." ®

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