Feeds

Paris ups sticks to London

'I'm much happier here', coos talented heiress

Gartner critical capabilities for enterprise endpoint backup

Here's some excellent news for El Reg's enormous Paris Hilton fanbase: The extravagantly talented heiress has declared she's decamping to London, having already spent a month here slumming it in a £7,500-a-month Hampstead pad while filming a show for MTV.

Ms Hilton cooed to the Daily Mail: "I love it here, I am going to move here permanently. I have already been here for a month and am much, much happier here."

Our Paris has wasted no time marking her new territory. She recently swanned about at a "sumptuous soirée" at designer Nicky Haslam's ancestral home in Roehampton where she mixed with the likes of former royal squeeze Sarah Ferguson.

However, an outing to a swanky Mayfair nightclub ended in disappointment when she failed to "attract the attentions of Princes William and Harry" - which translates as "they royally dissed her bony ass".

Hilton's presence in the capital will partially fill Blighty's obligatory resident American celeb quota, now that Madonna is reportedly planning to jump ship to New York following her split from gangsta geeza Guy Ritchie.

Should the amateur grumble flick star fail in her attempt to attract a royal mate and flee sobbing back to LA, we'd like to nominate Lindsay Lohan for the next US Celebutard Ambassador to the UK. ®

5 things you didn’t know about cloud backup

More from The Register

next story
MEN WANTED to satisfy town full of yearning BRAZILIAN HOTNESS
'Prettier, better organised, more harmonious than if men were in charge'
Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD
'Officers were unable to determine Chicken's intent'
Yes, but what are your plans if a DRAGON attacks?
Local UK gov outs most ridiculous FoI requests...
Drunkards warned: If you can't walk in a straight line, don't shop online, you fool!
Put it away boys. Cover them up ladies. Your credit cards, we mean
Why your mum was WRONG about whiffy tattooed people
They're a future source of RENEWABLE ENERGY
Murder accused DIDN'T ask Siri 'how to hide my roommate'
US court hears of cached browser image - not actual request
Chomp that sausage: Brits just LOVE scoffing a Full Monty
Sales of traditional brekkie foods soar as hungry folk get their mitts greasy
prev story

Whitepapers

Top 10 endpoint backup mistakes
Avoid the ten endpoint backup mistakes to ensure that your critical corporate data is protected and end user productivity is improved.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Backing up distributed data
Eliminating the redundant use of bandwidth and storage capacity and application consolidation in the modern data center.
The essential guide to IT transformation
ServiceNow discusses three IT transformations that can help CIOs automate IT services to transform IT and the enterprise
Next gen security for virtualised datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.