Feeds

Trainee teachers score F all in maths tests

LibDems: Force unemployed city workers into the classroom

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

The LibDems have proposed that the government take advantage of mass layoffs in the City to boost the country’s increasingly innumerate teaching profession.

The third party has uncovered government figures that show “increasing numbers of trainee teachers are having to resit basic maths tests” which are a pre-requisite for entry into the profession.

Since 2001, trainee teachers failed the maths test 20,000 times, with the average number of attempts needed to pass the test up by over a fifth since 2001. Sadly there’s no indication as to whether these repeated fails actually prevented any of the mathematically-challenged candidates being let loose on a class of unformed minds.

Anyone thinking this simply demonstrates how the teaching profession is stuffed full of English graduates unable to get jobs as poets can think again. The average number of attempts to pass the literacy test for teachers was up 16 per cent.

Apparently, the number of applicants for teaching courses is on the rise. This could be due to the government jacking up spending on education and working hard to increase the status of the teaching professions.

Alternatively, those of us with memories long enough to remember the last serious economic contraction in the UK might suggest it’s simply a rush by the newly unemployable towards one of the few professions seen as recession-proof.

The LibDems seem to be leaning towards the latter, with Shadow Children, Schools and Families Secretary David Laws declaring that existing minimum qualifications for teaching are too low.

“The economic slowdown should be used as an opportunity to promote teaching as a profession and attract top graduates in the same way as the TeachFirst programme has done on a smaller scale,” says Laws.

Yes, that’s right. We should draft the City’s leftovers into the education system, presumably to teach maths, economics and geography.

That way, kids can learn that depending on how you slice the numbers two and two actually equal zero, because what you actually do is move the result off the balance sheet into the Caymans, thus avoiding corporation tax and capital gains. ®

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

More from The Register

next story
Phones 4u slips into administration after EE cuts ties with Brit mobe retailer
More than 5,500 jobs could be axed if rescue mission fails
Driving with an Apple Watch could land you with a £100 FINE
Bad news for tech-addicted fanbois behind the wheel
Phones 4u website DIES as wounded mobe retailer struggles to stay above water
Founder blames 'ruthless network partners' for implosion
Radio hams can encrypt, in emergencies, says Ofcom
Consultation promises new spectrum and hints at relaxed licence conditions
Special pleading against mass surveillance won't help anyone
Protecting journalists alone won't protect their sources
Big Content Australia just blew a big hole in its credibility
AHEDA's research on average content prices did not expose methodology, so appears less than rigourous
Vodafone to buy 140 Phones 4u stores from stricken retailer
887 jobs 'preserved' in the process, says administrator PwC
prev story

Whitepapers

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops
Balancing user privacy and privileged access, in accordance with compliance frameworks and legislation. Evaluating any potential remote control choice.
Intelligent flash storage arrays
Tegile Intelligent Storage Arrays with IntelliFlash helps IT boost storage utilization and effciency while delivering unmatched storage savings and performance.
WIN a very cool portable ZX Spectrum
Win a one-off portable Spectrum built by legendary hardware hacker Ben Heck
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Beginner's guide to SSL certificates
De-mystify the technology involved and give you the information you need to make the best decision when considering your online security options.