Feeds

Trainee teachers score F all in maths tests

LibDems: Force unemployed city workers into the classroom

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

The LibDems have proposed that the government take advantage of mass layoffs in the City to boost the country’s increasingly innumerate teaching profession.

The third party has uncovered government figures that show “increasing numbers of trainee teachers are having to resit basic maths tests” which are a pre-requisite for entry into the profession.

Since 2001, trainee teachers failed the maths test 20,000 times, with the average number of attempts needed to pass the test up by over a fifth since 2001. Sadly there’s no indication as to whether these repeated fails actually prevented any of the mathematically-challenged candidates being let loose on a class of unformed minds.

Anyone thinking this simply demonstrates how the teaching profession is stuffed full of English graduates unable to get jobs as poets can think again. The average number of attempts to pass the literacy test for teachers was up 16 per cent.

Apparently, the number of applicants for teaching courses is on the rise. This could be due to the government jacking up spending on education and working hard to increase the status of the teaching professions.

Alternatively, those of us with memories long enough to remember the last serious economic contraction in the UK might suggest it’s simply a rush by the newly unemployable towards one of the few professions seen as recession-proof.

The LibDems seem to be leaning towards the latter, with Shadow Children, Schools and Families Secretary David Laws declaring that existing minimum qualifications for teaching are too low.

“The economic slowdown should be used as an opportunity to promote teaching as a profession and attract top graduates in the same way as the TeachFirst programme has done on a smaller scale,” says Laws.

Yes, that’s right. We should draft the City’s leftovers into the education system, presumably to teach maths, economics and geography.

That way, kids can learn that depending on how you slice the numbers two and two actually equal zero, because what you actually do is move the result off the balance sheet into the Caymans, thus avoiding corporation tax and capital gains. ®

Intelligent flash storage arrays

More from The Register

next story
Scrapping the Human Rights Act: What about privacy and freedom of expression?
Justice minister's attack to destroy ability to challenge state
WHY did Sunday Mirror stoop to slurping selfies for smut sting?
Tabloid splashes, MP resigns - but there's a BIG copyright issue here
Google hits back at 'Dear Rupert' over search dominance claims
Choc Factory sniffs: 'We're not pirate-lovers - also, you publish The Sun'
EU to accuse Ireland of giving Apple an overly peachy tax deal – report
Probe expected to say single-digit rate was unlawful
Inequality increasing? BOLLOCKS! You heard me: 'Screw the 1%'
There's morality and then there's economics ...
Hey Brit taxpayers. You just spent £4m on Central London ‘innovation playground’
Catapult me a Mojito, I feel an Digital Innovation coming on
While you queued for an iPhone 6, Apple's Cook sold shares worth $35m
Right before the stock took a 3.8% dive amid bent and broken mobe drama
EU probes Google’s Android omerta again: Talk now, or else
Spill those Android secrets, or we’ll fine you
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Storage capacity and performance optimization at Mizuno USA
Mizuno USA turn to Tegile storage technology to solve both their SAN and backup issues.
The next step in data security
With recent increased privacy concerns and computers becoming more powerful, the chance of hackers being able to crack smaller-sized RSA keys increases.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.