... for the inevitable counter - slime-seeking missiles!!! Mind you, the slime ships could just eject salesmen and politicians as decoys!

http://www.google.co.uk/search?q=%22spasming+their+bottoms%22

Just wondering what the chemical base for the slime would be.

Maybe Zappa-style slime?

Mine's the one with the forty-dollar bill in the pocket...

Square away, lads, and make ready. We snail at dawn!

Alright, alright, I'm going ...

Can't help but feel that the military applications for a device that leaves an easily traceable slime-trail in it's wake are somewhat limited.

Has to be called the USS Karl Rove.

That DARPA didn't think this one up

...a bit like its top speed. I can't think of a single development in naval propulsion that was adopted that meant vessels were slower than those using the original method...

"the diminutive slime-trail sailors manage to grip the surface of the water rather as a foot or wheel does a solid surface"

Doesn't this imply that the snails are using surface tension for a big part of this gig and that maybe the hydrophilic properties of the slime is aiding it? In that case it's not likely to scale up too effectively, but if it does, I'm going to paint my shoes in this slime and scare some anglers along the river beside where I live when I go for a walk.

However, if it does, I fully expect, nay demand, the construction of water-walking tripods, a la HG Wells, based on the design of the humble pond skater. And you can throw in one of those jumbo pork-eating frikkin chemical lasers on top for good measure.

That I for one welcome our new pseudo gastropod overlords and hope their trail of slime doesn't lead to their untimely demise due to some new class of slime seeking missile.

If ooze drive ( thanks Lewis! if any researcher needs human nasal mucous to compare to snail slime there is now about twenty or thirty cc s of it mixed with tea on my key board) should become a method of Navy propulsion, I can recommend researching the Rosy Wolf snail (Euglandia Rosea) from the South Eastern U S which is predatory on other snails, it detects and tracks them down by their slime trails .

so long as their aren't any waves. See "Donald Campbell exits from a tap in Huddersfield".

They said slime dripping and toxic to the rest of the world. Now if that slime was giving off beta and alpha ration , you would be correct. You are thinking more of Anne Coulter.

A typical one-track article from this turrible author whose primary qualification appears to be alliteration. (Just kidding - he's brilliant. :)

But we need to branch out here. With all the robots being made, surely this technology will "start small" and before reaching battleships be floating aquatic killbots. Imagine the humiliation of being gunned down by a snail - on a river, no less. Ugh. It would be like being beaten up by a sloth at an ice rink.

This must be precisely how those floating white ball things in The Prisoner worked. So maybe they're up on the invention block as well.

And cargo shipping is always keen to reduce their fuel costs. So if this lubricative slime layer helps them cross the ocean any more smoothly, they'll want in on it so they can ship things more cheaply - watching out for pirates 'round Africa, one would hope.

Holy shit, my friend, that was some funny, funny stuff.

And to Lewis - "Ooze cruisers" - you've outdone yourself yet again: described a boat and named an art-rock band all in one. Fucking fantastic.

Seaplane - peabrain US distress. Russia pusha -head - Dread!

(Fornication

Lubrication

Harasses

Paris's

Reputation)