Feeds

Canada sex shop heist shafts proprietress

Vibrator theft ruins buzz

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

Spare a kinky kind thought for one Wicked Wanda this Friday - the Canadian sex shop owner has been robbed of vibrators to the tune of $2,000.

Two sticky light-fingered blighters swiped the joysticks from Wicked Wanda's Adult Emporium in Ottawa at around 2.30am on Thursday morning, cnews reports. However, 41-year-old Wanda Cotie can take a little consolation from the apparent ignorance, or lack of sexual imagination, of the two men.

"They took all the Rabbits but they left the Seahorse, probably because they had enough butt plugs. The Seahorse comes with a butt plug," she explained. "They didn't even touch the German stuff. I don't get it."

The rubber-hungry robbers did indeed bypass all the high-end German erogenous engineering and other expensive happy-making gear, preferring the rather low-rent and humdrum Rabbits and vibrating bullets. Cotie was baffled. "How do you get rid of vibrators? Give them to your friends?"

It does occur that the robbers might use the lurid pleasure-plungers to take inspiration from one Nicki Jex and hold up a bank, but then in the current climate, they'd be lucky to etc. etc.

Sex shops are not infrequent victims of theft. In 2006 three masked men nicked $230 from a sex shop in not especially sex-toy-friendly Georgia, USA, after binding the employees with the very handy black fur handcuffs and silver leg irons lying around the place.

A year previously a man in Moscow ran into the place of business of a naughty things merchant brandishing a knife, and fled with an inflatable doll and some lacy knickers. Hopefully he remembered to put the knife safely in a drawer before enjoying his ill-gotten gains, because, y'know.

Cotie doesn't plan to claim on her insurance and is instead being philosophical. "You just have to swallow it," she said, as the local reporter sent to interview her collapsed to the floor and weakly uttered "g-giggidy". ®

Bootnotes

Of course, you're right - this isn't news, and we are sorry. By way of apology, please accept this 12-page analysis of the Icelandic bank crisis. Isn't that better?

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

More from The Register

next story
Apple CEO Tim Cook: My well-known gayness is 'a gift from GOD'
'I have benefited from the sacrifice of others'
MEN: For pity's sake SLEEP with LOTS of WOMEN - and avoid Prostate Cancer
And, um, don't sleep with other men. If that's what worries you
Jim Beam me up, Scotty! WHISKY from SPAAACE returns to Earth
They're insured for $1m, before you thirsty folks make plans
Now: The REAL APPLE NEWS you need to know
OMG! Gravity's totes amazeballs. Calm down, George Clooney, not your film
Boffins who stare at goats: I do believe they’re SHRINKING
Alpine chamois being squashed by global warming
Let's make an app that POSTS your POO to APPLE HQ
Plus: It's OPEN WARFARE in the Linux greybeard world
Adorkable overshare of words like photobomb in this year's dictionaries
And hipsters are finally defined as self-loathing. Sort of
Not a loyal follower of @BritishMonarchy? You missed The QUEEN*'s first Tweet
Her Maj opens 'Information Age' at the Science Museum
prev story

Whitepapers

Why and how to choose the right cloud vendor
The benefits of cloud-based storage in your processes. Eliminate onsite, disk-based backup and archiving in favor of cloud-based data protection.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Saudi Petroleum chooses Tegile storage solution
A storage solution that addresses company growth and performance for business-critical applications of caseware archive and search along with other key operational systems.
Protecting users from Firesheep and other Sidejacking attacks with SSL
Discussing the vulnerabilities inherent in Wi-Fi networks, and how using TLS/SSL for your entire site will assure security.