Feeds

Serial commentard bitchslaps Reg hack

'Run away you little pansy, the databases are coming'

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

The Essential Guide to IT Transformation

FoTW It's a well-known fact that flames are like number 13 buses - you wait ages for one and then a whole load turn up and once.

Yes indeed, following last week's truly exceptional outburst during which certain Reg readers found themselves on the receiving end of some particularly tasty abuse, we have one Aaron Kempf who rather took exception to Chris Williams' piece on counter-terror databases.

Now, we're not even sure that Kempf fully read the article, or even understood it. No matter, that's never been an impediment to an unholy turdspurt. Here's our analyst's first email:

when are you idiots going to discover that there's nothing wrong with a _DATABASE_?

Seriously-- you hippies need to stop smoking pole* and shivering at the though of _ANYONE_ building a database-- for _ANY_ reason.

No wonder Hitler kicked Englands ass in WW2.. until we had to bail you out. You kids are just a bunch of trippers, dude.

Friggin cry babies, oh, no-- the databases are coming, the databases are coming.

You know, I just built a database to keep track of theRegister using fear in order to prevent people from using a database.

I mean.. WTF Is wrong with you guys?

Data Mining is ineffective? THEY ARE NOT USING DATA MINING, THEY NEED SIMPLE REPORTING!!! Data Mining.. Do you even know what it is??

Before we had time to answer, Kempf discharged another email broadside:

Dude seriously-- you dipshits think that anyone building a couple of 'where clauses' in a database is data mining.

It is not.

Run away you little pansy, the databases are coming, the databases are coming!!!

No wonder you guys are no longer a super-power. Super-Powers aren't scared of a fucking database.

Grow some balls kid, and tell your country.. I'm personally tired of my country saving your country, maybe if you weren't scared of a fucking database-- and maybe if you knew what data mining _WAS_ then maybe you'd have a clue.

But building a database does not equate to data mining.

And databases never hurt nobody. Fucking pansy. 'Run away the databases are coming'.

-Aaron

Boost IT visibility and business value

Next page: Bootnote

More from The Register

next story
Thirteen Astonishing True Facts You Never Knew About SCREWS
Threaderick the Great! And YES, we asked the Arapaho
NSA man: 'Tell me about your Turkish connections'
Spooks ask Dabbsy to suggest a nice hotel with pool
Russia sends SEX-CRAZED GECKOS to SPAAAAACE!
In space... no one can hear you're green...
Indian techies-in-training face down MAN-EATING LEOPARD - and WIN
Big cat causes big trouble at Mumbai college
Too rich for an iPhone 6? How about a gold-plated Brikk?
Not lobbed at your head, silly – a bling phone
Carlos: Slim your working week to just three days of toil
'Midas World' vision suggests you retire later, watch more tellie and buy more stuff
Yahoo! Japan! launches! service! for! the! dead!
If you're reading this email, I am no longer alive
Plucky Rockall podule man back on (proper) dry land
Bold, barmy Brit adventurer Nick Hancock escapes North Atlantic islet
Motorist 'thought car had caught fire' as Adele track came on stereo
'FIRE' caption on dashboard prompts dunderheaded hard shoulder halt
prev story

Whitepapers

Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Consolidation: The Foundation for IT Business Transformation
In this whitepaper learn how effective consolidation of IT and business resources can enable multiple, meaningful business benefits.
Backing up Big Data
Solving backup challenges and “protect everything from everywhere,” as we move into the era of big data management and the adoption of BYOD.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.
Why and how to choose the right cloud vendor
The benefits of cloud-based storage in your processes. Eliminate onsite, disk-based backup and archiving in favor of cloud-based data protection.